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Band 5

In the past people store knowledge in the books. Nowdays store knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

#people #store #books #nowdays #internet
In a world filled with modern technology,
people
 replace
books
 with the
Internet
 to retain information.
Although
books
 offer authentic materials that they cannot offset the digitized
knowledge
 with quick search and immense storage capacity.
Accordingly
, I lean toward the idea that the merits of keeping resources on the
Internet
 exceed the way to do on
books
. Rationally,
Internet
enable
Change the verb form
enables
show examples
 users to access
knowledge
 from many high precisions sources quickly. In simple words,
people
 can effortlessly explore various topics after some mouse clicks.
For instance
,
people
 used to spent too much time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
searching
Change preposition
for informations
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 from many heavy paper
books
 just for a topic.
However
, with the development of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
, it takes few minutes to get all information with the language
people
 are using.
This
 has an
impotant
Correct your spelling
important
 effect on
puplis
Correct your spelling
pupils
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 with doctor trainers.
On the other hand
, I bet that using
books
 wasted
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 financials and
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 amount of wood resources.
Nevertheless
, using
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 to store
knowledge
 protected natural resources cause
people
 just have to download webs into the laptop and
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to access with geographical boundaries.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 on the
Internet
 is stored in many different formats ànd language which allows learners
absorb
Fix the infinitive
to absorb
show examples
 and remember information effectively. Unlike
books
, which just present
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 in the format of texts.
For instance
, there are about 30%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 have
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
of learning
Replace the preposition
to learn
show examples
 through music and picture;
therefore
, users can remember
knowledes
Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowledges
 easily. In conclusion, I believe storing
knowledge
 on the
Internet
 is more effective and easier than
books
.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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