In some countries people encourage teenagers to find part time jobs. Some people agree and others don't. Review both sides and give your opinion.

There is no doubt that working from a young age makes us independent and self
displined
Correct your spelling
disciplined
discipline
. While some people believe that
this
trend should not be followed, others argue that it helps to build
strong minded
Add a hyphen
strong-minded
show examples
teenagers. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the latter view. One of the most important
drawback
Change to a plural noun
drawbacks
show examples
of teenagers involved in
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
is
time
management. The
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
who work in any
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
job are mostly
undergarduate
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
students or higher secondary students, because of their
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
they get very
less
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
time
for their studies which in turn leads to bad scores in their
marksheets
Correct your spelling
mark sheets
.
Additionally
, some
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
includes
Change the verb form
include
show examples
morning and
late night
Add a hyphen
late-night
show examples
shifts, which is the most important
time
for good sleep. As a
Correct your spelling
result
reult
Add a comma
,reult
show examples
it directly
Replace the word
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
the productivity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers.
However
,
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
the opportunity to experience
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
real
Correct article usage
the real
show examples
time
world apart from studies and college life. Working experience gives the chance to learn from your own mistakes from a very young age, that
hepls
Correct your spelling
helps
to build
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
stronger future.
For example
, there are some students who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not have any financial support for their education, they can earn their living and
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their dreams, and achieve their goals
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own. In conclusion, working
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
can be proven hectic for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation. In my opinion benefits of
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
jobs
in young generation are
outweighted
Correct your spelling
outweighed
by the
drwabacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
, I would prefer
top
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
indulge my children in
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
.
Submitted by anirudhgaurag on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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