Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras) in many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outwiegh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development #outwiegh

In modern

society

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,society

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technology

Add a missing verb

has become

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become

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has become

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a massive thing to use

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, and

Correct article usage

the public

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public

Correct article usage

the public

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community using it wherever they pace.

Firstly

, I will discuss the advantages of

this

trend

then

secondly

I will provide the bad side of

this

impac

Correct your spelling

impact

although

I mention my own point of view of

this

trend

First

, I will start with

bright

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the bright

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side of

this

impact.

First

of all, Technology

become

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has become

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an art in public lives, and it

distribute

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distributes

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us a great glimpse of how the future will be from the day we wake up

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to tell

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tell

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till

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it ends.

Thus

with

advance

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advanced

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equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

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such

as;

Smart phones

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Smartphones

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like Apple, Samsung and

Huwaii

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Hawaii

Huawei

own it is intuitive specs especially if they use GPS

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apply

show examples

and

camera

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a camera

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Furthermore

, with these features it gives local individuals

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apply

show examples

access to obtain great support to live in ease and to order what they want

for instance

; I used a

smart phone

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smartphone

show examples

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apply

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and searched via Amazon Application to order rare product, which I searched about it from where I live, but it was not available,

thus

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this

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will not produce it anymore,

then

around ( 10-15) days I collect it from Aramex store.

Therefore

, with what I mentioned above it is essential to understand if we are using

cuting

Correct your spelling

cutting

edge item phones we should take an acknowledge consideration upon it, because it may harm us indirect way

Moreover

, it may affect their lives, by mean it could lead the society to adapt lack of communication skills and unable to socialize among peers and families,

in addition

, it may lead them to severe injuries, due to distraction by using

smartphone

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a smartphone

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, while moving like what happened to one of my relatives he was driving on Fifth Ring Road in a destination to Fahaheel area,

then

when he checked his from sudden he been distracted by one of the notification,

then

he crashed in the middle of

no where

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nowhere

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, yet he stayed alive but lost his vehicle. I believe that

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apply

show examples

Technology

trend

will move

forwsrd

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forward

, and out of boundaries to current and

generations,

also

I adore

smart phone

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smartphone

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with these features

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apply

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because it

provide

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provides

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Add the preposition

with an

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efficient and beneficial

socurity

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security

to society. To sum up,

this

trend

will keep on with

non stop

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non-stop

show examples

especially when the Authority support it, yet adapt it to understand, learn and implement these features to ensure safety to the public.

Submitted by iissa1991 on Fri Sep 24 2021

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

388 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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