IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

These days, people have been increasing their online contacts through social networking sites.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 situation has created
uncomfortableness
Check wording
discomfort
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 among folks when present physically in social gatherings. In my opinion,
this
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 might not be the case. I disagree with
this
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 view, because social media not only helps us in finding our lost contacts but
also
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 us to advance our career. In my opinion, there is no awkwardness in true relationships. With the advent of the internet, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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advancement
Correct article usage
an advancement
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 in the social interactions of people. Nowadays, social networking sites are very popular among individuals, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 in locating
the
Correct article usage
apply
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old friends and
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besides
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct determiner usage
apply
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this
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
also
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 assist in making new contacts. I argue that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 awkwardness does not come from whether the individuals are interacting in online or offline mode, but from our relationship with that person.
For instance
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, virtual interactions
also
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 provide an option for video calling
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is exactly similar to meeting face to face.
Moreover
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, it allows folks to strengthen their business connection, which ultimately provides a link to enhance
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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.
Furthermore
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, I
also
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 disagree with the saying that it
isolated
Wrong verb form
isolates
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 us physically, in
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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the fact
it
Correct word choice
that it
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 helps the professionals
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as army
Replace the word
personnel
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personals
Punctuation problem
personals,
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 to interact with their families.
For instance
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,one can face time their friends in the US or Europe or even the Antarctic to get an update
of
Change preposition
on
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 them and even share our
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
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 and stories with no waste of time, at no point in history was
this
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 possible to have
such
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 instant feedback or sharing of emotions in
such
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 quick succession.
To conclude
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, in my opinion,social media is a place where we can learn, meet and share our thoughts with the masses and has no impact on social life. These digital networks help us keep in communication with our close
ones
Punctuation problem
ones,
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 where daily meetings are not practically possible.

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task management
Outline a clear plan before you write. Start with a short intro that states your view, then two or three main ideas, and finish with a simple conclusion.
grammar
Use only simple, correct sentences. Fix grammar like 'social media not only helps us... but also allows' instead of 'not only helps us ... but also, allow us'.
organization
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence and end with a linking sentence.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas, such as 'first', 'also', 'however', 'in addition' and then connect to your point.
content
Give clear, real examples and explain how they show your view.
structure
The writer takes a clear position and keeps this view in many parts of the essay.
content
Some good ideas are given about video calls and keeping work links.
coherence
Some linking words are used to connect ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connect
  • online
  • offline
  • face-to-face
  • real life
  • social
  • media
  • networks
  • relationships
  • awkward
  • shy
  • confident
  • increase
  • decrease
  • benefit
  • drawback
  • active
  • passive
  • interaction
  • habit
  • balance
  • practice
  • communication
  • support
  • community
  • time
  • meetup
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