In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #absence

There is an argument over the past decade about is children have more benefits between both

parents

go out to work for more additional income nor father

mother should be with their child. The following paragraph will be discussed about my point of view in

this

argument. Before, the conclusion has been reached.

Parents

play a crucial role for their child, on many sides

such

as about their knowledge, point of view,

also

emotion. Despite the following things, I strongly believe that the parent should not be apart from their son

daughter because of many facts said that if the kid didn't be with their

parents

, it will cause many bad things likes parent did not know their child well enough to teach them in something that requires lots of time to see it.

Moreover

, I believe from the facts in

this

argument that many researchers suggest that father

mother should stay close to their youngling to watch they grow up and solve the problem that might happen to their youngster.

Also

parents

should know their kids well enough to prevent any problem that will happen to them

such

as in the emotion, or perspective. In summary, I quite agree with those who support the facts that youngsters should be with their

parents

. So that their mother

father will know their youngster better to make their grow up and live in the societies with no problem

further

, and guide them into correct direction for them so the youth will not be the one who makes the societies worse than before.

Submitted by pondssp on Fri Sep 24 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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