IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

The best way to reduce crime among young people is to teach parents good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and examples.

#crime #people #parents #skills
Nowadays, the criminal news by the youth is shown on the
first
 page of the newspaper. Some people believe that great instruction from their parents is the best solution to solve
this
 problem. Personally, I argue
this
 statement because it has many relevant factors to
this
 incident. My opinion and the examples will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
First
 of all, the environment is one of the factors because at
this
 age they will be able to follow the same actions easily from someone they have met.
For example
, the school has different people and various backgrounds, if they have friends who have a drug crime so they can be influenced to do it in a similar way. A neighbourhood is a place where the youngsters will be raised since they were born. The violence and the crime in these surroundings can be their motivations.
Furthermore
,
this
 period of age has its own thoughts. They do not prefer to be taught by their parents so the alternative solutions should be learnt by the professional. These people might have a mental problem more than their appearance. The expert will bring them to be a participant in a specific course which has suitable ways to deal with their actions.
For instance
, the stress will be released by fun activities or talking with the initial causes. In my point of view, I would like to say that most parents have always instructed their children to their best ability. These youngsters need to distinguish between good and bad behaviour by themselves in one day. To sum up, I firmly disagree that
this
 criminal happening could be reduced by the good parent's skill due to the fact that it has a number of related factors affecting the youth.
Submitted by nnnnink on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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