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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #development
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Currently, there is a growth
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who decides to live alone comparing to the past in some countries. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 sign is a negative development trend because it causes of lack of interaction in society and may lead to the decreation of
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 population.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the negative impact is that
people
Use synonyms
 have less connection and socialization. In many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 leave their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 and head to a city for work.
Then
Linking Words
, they have to live alone. They go to work in the morning and come back to their places after the off-hour as their daily routines.
Although
Linking Words
 they have a connection with their colleagues in the workplace. It is not a strong connection.
As a result
Linking Words
, it makes them have less interaction in their close social circle, keep self-isolation, and can lead to depression. Another impact is that staying alone can cause
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
 number of children. Nowadays, the statistics show that
people
Use synonyms
 tend to not get married because they prefer to live alone. Each person is not only focusing
his
Change preposition
on his
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owned
Replace the word
own
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 activities but
also
Linking Words
 protecting himself from others.
In addition
Linking Words
, every
people
Use synonyms
 thinks the same way,
then
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, no new
people
Use synonyms
 come to their
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 and build up a strong relationship until
give
Change the verb form
giving
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 a proposal.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the birth rate in
developed
Add an article
a developed
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 is lower than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past while the rate of
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer to live alone is higher. Living alone has benefits as individuals,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are still
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
society
Add an article
the society
show examples
. The depression rate in
people
Use synonyms
 is higher,
moreover
Linking Words
, the lower population has
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 responsibility of everyone especially the government to resolve the issue.
Submitted by faiphad.i on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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