IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people believe that living a city life offers greater benefits as compared to the countryside? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #city #life #countryside
Nowadays,more and more
people
 living in urban
areas
 and the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
rate of immigration from
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 to big
cities
 has
exprienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 a sharp increase because of
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
 standard of living in
cities
.I completely agree with the statement which has been given and
this
 essay will discuss some factors that
people
taken
Add the auxiliary verb
were taken
show examples
 into consideration for leaving rural
areas
 and move to urban
areas
. In some rural
areas
,
people
 dissatisfied
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their basic-
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
,they find it
difficut
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to live there any more,so they move to urban
areas
 which have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 quality of basic
facilities
 that
eveyones
Correct your spelling
everyone
everyone's
 need. It is obvious that
facilities
 in
cities
 are more than
facilities
 in villages.
For instance
,
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 service and education
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 in urban
areas
 have better quality rural ones.Many big companies like Apple and hospitals or even reputable universities are located in big
cities
.In
this
 way,boosting job opportunities in
cities
 are
unideniable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
.
People
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 amount of salaries,as a consequence,they'll satisfaction
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
standard
Correct article usage
the standard
show examples
 level of living will be increase.For sure industrial
cities
 have faced with several problems like air pollution and traffic,
howeve
Correct your spelling
however
,the benefits
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
outwight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outright
 drawbacks. From
psychological
Add an article
a psychological
show examples
 perspective,community and connection is a fundamental part of each big
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
show examples
 and in
this
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 few
hamumans
Correct your spelling
humans
 and teenagers
are suffer
Change the verb form
are suffering
show examples
 from diseases which
loneless
Correct your spelling
loneliness
 are the main problem in them.In
cities
 most of
accommodations
Add an article
the accommodations
show examples
 are apartment,
thus
,
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 have to connect with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.Fortunately,few members of
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 have
feeling
Change the verb form
felt
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
depressed and isolated. To conclude,living in
countriside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 brings
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
facilities
 and
thas
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 why year many families
immigrate
Change the form of the verb
immigrated
show examples
 from rural
areas
 to big
cities
.According to what I
mention
Change the form of the verb
mentioned
show examples
 above,I certainly agree with
this
satament
Correct your spelling
statement
 that city
Correct your spelling
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 bring better benefits compared to rural
areas
.
Submitted by aminpost on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: