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Band 2.5

Advertising companies should not be allowed to target children.

#companies #target #children
In the modern world,
children
 from
earliest
Correct pronoun usage
their earliest
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 years have
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smartphones, laptops and TV, and there are so many open spaces
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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amid the
children
. Despite
that
Add a comma
,that
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 the
children
 are faces that a lot of the advertising
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 for them. Absolutely that so many advantages from the internet helping and
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very useful for them but there are alternative ways that target kids and making the myriad problems. From unethical perspective advertisements that are
companies
Add a comma
,companies
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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focuses
Change the verb form
focus
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 on
children
 who do not know how are the
differentiate
Replace the word
difference
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 between reality and fantasy.
Moreover
, when the advertisement targets
children
 they, make in way tempting those
children
 go to the extent of throwing and screaming just to make their parents
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
get the product for them.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand, Advertising aimed at
children
 brings negative social consequences. So the ill-effects from harmful social are
children
 exposed a hundred of
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 every signal day and including use different strategies to try to appeal to them. Without a doubt, these advertisements doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bad things to
children
 that making them
violence
Replace the word
violent
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, obesity and
eating
Add a missing verb
have eating
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 disorders. In conclusion, should parents be more responsible for
children
’s
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 Because when they keep eyes on them and controlling what they see
children
 are being under monitoring.
Submitted by nada.aljohani.88 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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