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Band 6

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#science #technology #development #society #students #support #government #fields #eg #business #language
Science and technology is the key sector for
emergency
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the emergency
an emergency
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 situation of the society. Students who
persue
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pursue
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a career
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career
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careers
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 in
these
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this field
these fields
show examples
field
 should be financed by
government
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the government
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 since it is totally
devotated
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devoted
in
Change preposition
to
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 public service. I totally agree that
technological
Correct article usage
the technological
show examples
field
 is more critical and required more attention from
government
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the government
show examples
 since they needed more practice in costly machinery and practical
envirnment
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environment
.
First
 of all,
non technical
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non-technical
show examples
field
 of
education
 is
also
 important which contributes
in
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to
show examples
development
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the development
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 of
nation
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the nation
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 but
these
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this
show examples
stream
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streams
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 of
education
 are less expensive and can be afforded by
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the family
a family
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family
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families
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 since they do not need any special infrastructure and equipment for practice. Doctors, nurses and technical people who
plays
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play
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 a vital role in saving a life of
pople
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people
 so they needed more practical based
education
 as well as comprehensive material which is very costly, so assistance may
needed
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be needed
need
show examples
 from
administration
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the administration
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 because these expenses may not be afforded from personal resources only.
In addition
 to that
this
education
involve
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involves
show examples
 more surgical machinery and technology because when they complete their studies they will have to with
patient
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the patient
show examples
 directly. So it is compulsory to learn while studying at university. For
an
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apply
show examples
example, doctors and
nurces
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nurses
 are fully trained at the time of practical classes so they can learn everything before going to
patient
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the patient
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.
Second
 important point is,
this
types
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type
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of course
Add the comma(s)
, of course,
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 is pretty expensive because
not
Change preposition
of not
show examples
 only the material but
also
 the teacher and
accomodations
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accommodations
 for practice.
This
 learning is
practical
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practically
show examples
 based and needed an export, a qualified teacher who has done lots of research and gain experience in
relevent
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relevant
field
.
A
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An
show examples
 experienced professor from another country could cost
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 more than
other stream
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another stream
other streams
show examples
 can be
an
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apply
show examples
taken as an instance. So, for these
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 these
field
 fellows
needs
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need
show examples
government
 contribution so that nation can get qualified
surgen
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surgeon
 and
technicial
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technicians
technical
 who can save
thousand
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thousands
show examples
 of people and keep away from
emergency
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an emergency
the emergency
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 situation.
Finally
, the
government
 should provide more aid to
Correct your spelling
science
silence
sience
Correct article usage
the sience
show examples
 and technology stream of
education
 because they
sacrifies
Correct your spelling
sacrifices
 their valuable time for public services since the other
field
 of
education
 only take care of
non
Add a hyphen
non-emergincies
show examples
emergincies
Correct your spelling
emergencies
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
.
Submitted by laxmithapa2921 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • development
  • society
  • financial support
  • science students
  • other fields
  • government
  • equal
  • pursue
  • scientific studies
  • balanced approach
  • academic qualifications
What to do next:
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