IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#countries #amount #crime
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Crime is a deterrent to the economic and social growth of any country. In many
nations
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,nations
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 illegal events are growing. In the upcoming
paragraph
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,paragraph
show examples
 we will discuss the causes and
way
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ways
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 to deal with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. There
are
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is
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 mainly 2
reason
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reasons
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 which
are
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is
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 responsible for criminal activity.
Firstly
, the
government
 has made
education
 fees very nominal due to which our literacy rate has gone very high but there is no increase in the job market due to which many youngsters are unemployed and moving towards the path of crime, In a recent survey by Indian
government
 literacy rate of India has reached 90 % as compare to unemployment which is
till
Correct your spelling
still
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 15 %.
Secondly
, our
education
 system has not improved over decades and we are still not using
skill based
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skill-based
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education
 which will help youth to start their own business after they finish their
education
.
For Example
Education
Correct article usage
the Education
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 system in India is
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as 2
decade
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decades
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 ago which was developed by
British
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the British
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 to develop people for
transitional
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the transitional
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job
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jobs
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.
Finally
, with the boom of technology now information is freely available and you can connect with anyone anytime free of cost. People are using technology for a lot of criminal activity.
For example
 in one of the bomb blasts
in
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apply
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,
mumbai
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Mumbai
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 the accuser confesses that he learned to make bombs online with free online videos. To Deal with these issues,
Government
 must work on to create more employment
opportunity
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opportunities
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 and introduce skill
base
Correct your spelling
based
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education
 system after higher secondary school,
also
 promote technical
education
 among youth which eventually will help them start their own business,
addition
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add
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 to
this
government
 to prohibit usage of antisocial webpages. To recapitulate, the
government
 needs to work on increasing employment and relaxing loan policy which will help youth in getting employment or start their own business
addition
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added
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 to
this
 action must be taken to restrict webpages which provide anti-social information.
Submitted by durgawork2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
What to do next:
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