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Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss Both views and give your opinion.

#people #attention
Some
people
 say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other
people
 think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Companies cope with the change via promoting their
merchandises
Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
show examples
 with advertisements. There are some pros and cons regarding the commercials. In
this
 passage, I will give you two views. On the one hand , Advertising makes us buy things because we
don´t
 what we want but we always feel unsatisfied, so we end up buying things because advertising tells us that it is going to make us happy.
For instance
, a new phone with a new function. The knowledge and desire could have emerged just the moment they were watching a TV show or surfing the Internet. A fifteen-
second
ad
 demonstrating which product is on sale or its information was played repeatedly;
people
thus
 remember the
take-away
Correct your spelling
takeaway
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 news profoundly.
As a result
, they purchase the items that
links
Change the verb form
link
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 to their deep mind, which they realize
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would be a bargain or a nice choice if I buy them right at the time.
On the other hand
, there are
people
 who are influenced by advertising.
For instance
, I know
people
 who
don´t
 watch a lot of television and who
don´t
 go much on the internet. Obviously, these
people
 are less prone to buying based on what they saw
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an
ad
. It popped out
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it’s a mess on the screen,
people
 tend to ignore them. And there are
also
people
 who see advertising popping on their screen but ignore them, and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 even close these windows. So these
people
 are not going to buy products based on advertising because they
don´t
 pay attention to ads. In
this
 situation, some companies put more effort
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 making more catchy songs or slogans
instead
 of merely illustrating what they want by sharing the monotonous news. Others exaggerate
the merchandises functions
Change to a genitive case
the functions of the merchandise
show examples
, making them not as practical
as
Add the preposition
toas
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 how they really work.
Consequently
, ads become either popular or just like the common ones and
thus
Add a missing verb
are thus
show examples
 ignored. As for me, I do purchase products after watching an
ad
.
For instance
, at the time I was thinking of buying a new shirt, the screen appeared. Sometimes I buy cosmetics that I don’t really need because the
ad
 made me feel good. But sometimes I like to look after myself, I may buy
a
Remove the article
apply
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face cream,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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shampoo, a shaving cream,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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perfume, etc. And sometimes I buy some snacks or energetic drinks and I am not sure why I bought a certain brand, but
realize
Change the form of the verb
realized
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 afterwards that it is because these products had been advertised online.
Submitted by ericyeh8919 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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