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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Nowadays, technology is playing an important role
to connect
Change preposition
in connecting
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 everyone to a virtual world via social
media
Use synonyms
 websites
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook, Orkut, and LinkedIn.
However
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 true that
same has the
Correct word order
the same has
show examples
 negative effects
due to
Linking Words
 the separation of physical interaction. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 proposal and I shall argue that
how
Rephrase
apply
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its proponents are correct.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the use of social
media
Use synonyms
 has been increasing tremendously since 2012, when Orkut was launched for the first time as the topmost social
media
Use synonyms
 website. Before that, individuals used to interact via cell phones and emails. Later on, Facebook came into the picture and won the hearts of the public all around the world by facilitating
as
Change preposition
apply
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the mechanism to post and share pictures and videos of loved ones. Because of
this
Linking Words
 website, long-distance relationships were possible.
Also
Linking Words
, it assisted elderly and physically disabled people to remain in touch with society. As per a survey conducted by " Harvard University" in 2016, seventy per cent of the world's population is socially active on internet websites, ,,
Linking Words
however
Correct word order
apply
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 it has
also
Linking Words
 created a physical distance among society.
Does
Verb problem
Is
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 the aforementioned
is
Verb problem
apply
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making us socially awkward? In my opinion, it is difficult to express emotions and
feeling
Replace the word
feelings
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 in words.
For example
Linking Words
, to feel the love and affection of your child, you have to be present physically.
Similarly
Linking Words
, couples in a long-distance relationship are less happy as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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couples who meet on
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
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 basis, because people can read the facial expression and body language more closely in person. Recently, an article has been published in "The Hindu" newspaper
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 indicates that relationships via social websites are more prone to
be
Verb problem
breaking
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 broken as they have a lack of trust.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 can be a good tool to enhance your virtual network wheres it has
also
Linking Words
 created a physical vacuum in their life. I believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 physical interaction with your loved ones is important as your virtual interactions
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your writing. Put one main idea in each paragraph and keep to it.
cohesion
Use clear links to join ideas. Use words like and, but, so to move from one sentence to the next.
thesis
State your view in the start and restate it in the end so the reader sees your stance.
grammar
Keep grammar simple and check for common errors like wrong verb form and bad sentence end.
task response
The essay shows a clear view and tries to fit an argument.
coherence
There are examples used to show the idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connect
  • online
  • offline
  • face-to-face
  • real life
  • social
  • media
  • networks
  • relationships
  • awkward
  • shy
  • confident
  • increase
  • decrease
  • benefit
  • drawback
  • active
  • passive
  • interaction
  • habit
  • balance
  • practice
  • communication
  • support
  • community
  • time
  • meetup
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