The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

Society
evokes a wave of controversy about whether family
education
is better than
school
education
, or vice versa. Many
people
think that
education
at home is more dominant than
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
at
school
, and I do not support
this
statement as
school
education
brings many knowledge background for a child, expands their social life- knows how to behave with
people
- and children
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
going to have more motivation when they
study
with others.
School
Change the article
A school
show examples
is a place that provides
students
both
Add the preposition
with both
show examples
knowledge and social skill;
that is
why
people
usually compare
school
with a
mini
Add a hyphen
mini-society
show examples
society
. Social skills help
students
to communicate and work with others confidently; they will be able to easily share their ideas and build up their critical thinking.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
,
students
' relatives will be closer to them- communication is the way to bring each other together-
That is
why most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools tend to create group activities for
students
.
For example
, in my
school
, teachers regularly assign
students
activities
such
as making a poster or a presentation together. Schools can
also
supply many resources for
students
and diplomas that scholars cannot get when they
study
at home. Communicating not only helps
students
to integrate into
society
but
also
assists them to avoid mental health. Researchers have found that talking with
people
can help
people
in several ways. We can release our negative thoughts and sorrows through sharing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
even though the one
that is
hearing us does not provide any solace. In conclusion, when children
study
at
school
, they can receive the most important skills like communication that they cannot get when they are only at home with their family. And those relationships may help them when they get a job too.
Submitted by tonykim09 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • savings
  • investing
  • tax obligations
  • retirement planning
  • loans
  • credit
  • interest rates
  • crowded curricula
  • traditional academic subjects
  • real-life experiences
  • parental guidance
  • practical
  • intellectually rigorous
  • school syllabus
  • gig economy
  • income-streams
  • challenging
  • trained teachers
  • specialized field
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