The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

Education
is always the top concern of countries. The government has
also
invested heavily in facilities and infrastructure, applying more modern teaching methods to schools to create the best conditions for students. Nowadays,
parents
are
also
very focused on
education
because they want their
children
to develop the most comprehensive skills. I think that teaching from the family is a decisive factor for a child's development as I shall go on to show.
Firstly
, the formation of a child's personality is greatly influenced by
education
from family.
Children
will be positive kids if
parents
let them have fun and readily answer their questions in a fun way. The love from the family will build a child who cares, empathizes, and helps those around them.
Also
, responsibility forms through small things
such
as helping with housework or maybe babysitting.
Secondly
, one of the most important things to be a useful person is social skills.
Parents
should teach youngsters politeness, listening, and understanding through words and actions in daily life.
Children
often imitate, so they will follow what they hear and see. If family members behave politely and listen to each other, the kids will do the same.
In addition
,
parents
should educate their
children
to be independent and resilient so that no matter what difficulties they face, they will not think of relying on anyone and be strong to overcome them.
However
, it is important for
children
to receive
Add an article
a scholarship

The noun phrase scholarship seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships

It seems that scholarship may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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from
school
Add an article
the school

The noun phrase school seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. They can learn knowledge, teamwork and have friends – it’s the good relationships for them. But I think qualifications from school is most concerned due to the fact that it is too hard to apply for
job
Add an article
a job
the job

The noun phrase job seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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without
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
Besides
you can learn it from friends, family or training
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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.
Therefore
,
education
from the family is really necessary. In conclusion, the teaching from family is indispensable because of its contribution to the formation of personality and thinking of
children
.
Hence
, families should focus more on the
education
of their
children
.
Submitted by tonykim09 on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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