Some people think that it is better to other countries for greater work and life opportunities. Others argue that it is best to stay in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #countries #work #life #opportunities #home #country

Working is one of the most crucial parts of

people

's lives. Some

people

are firm believers in working abroad for greater

opportunities

. Others,

however

, have shown devotion to staying in their

country

This

essay will discuss both points of view and explain my opinion. The

first

and most obvious reason for working overseas was

work

opportunities

leads to having better pay increments and perks.

For example

, a father who is the sole breadwinner decided to

work

abroad to get a higher income, he will have enough money to subsidising his family. Leading to their family might have a better quality of

life

In addition

, living in a developed

country

has a great

life

because of taking care of their employee by giving better welfare and insurance to improve their

life

On the other hand

, staying in their

country

can help the

country

development. The rationale behind

this

is nowadays many countries face the brain drain that an educated

people

tend to move out

Change preposition

of.

show examples

So if citizens help their

country

by staying, the

country

will have enough manpower and productive

people

for developing the

country

Moreover

, due to working in the home

country

, the family bond is increased by spending time with their family. As the result, families can help their children to overcome the problems so the criminal rate might decrease

then

the

country

will be a better place. In conclusion, there are substantial benefits of working overseas thanks to more

work

opportunities

. From my perspective, if citizens stay in the

country

leading to the

country

development, the

country

will have greater

work

and

life

opportunities

similar to developed countries.

Submitted by sahapol.rs on Sun Sep 26 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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