More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solution can you offer?

#people #background #cities #work #consequences #offer

There is an increasing number of the population moving to an urban area and abandon their agricultural job in order to find a new career.

This

result in a shortage of manpower in the farming sector and cities become overcrowd.

This

essay proposes introducing modern farming machines and automation technology,

in addition

,countrydes'countryside's development subsidy as the solution. The migration to more developed cities means more opportunities

this

attracts a large number of

people

, as a consequence, fewer

people

are left working in agricultural businesses.

This

shortage makes farm owners have to pay extra for machines that they don't familiar with,

thus

increase food prices and cause effectiveness to fall.

For Instance

the rising of rice prices back in the 2000s. Subsidising the rural area is the answer to

this

problem. Develop more in a regional centre can make more jobs and other qualities of life available for

people

who live doesn't live in the cities,

as a result

, more

people

will stay at their home town continue to work in a farm. In conclusion ,

people

migration can make the agricultural business downfall but with propper development in the regional centre and countrysides, we can solve

this

problem.

Submitted by tanat30635.ts on Sun Sep 26 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

199 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solution can you offer?

Fully explain your ideas

The two layouts illustrate the current situation of norbition industrial area and its coming changes which may happen in the following years ,as it can be seen in the maps,there is going to be a vast varition in general structure of this zone in its future plan.

In many countries, people are deciding to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

the average rainfall for three countries in Great Britain over a 12 month period in 2018.

Topic 10. In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.