some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of crime, while others think that the government should spend more on punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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These days, It is hard to reject that number of
crimes
Use synonyms
have gradually increased every year around the world. In attempts to decrease
crimes
Use synonyms
, someones allege that the
government
Use synonyms
should advocate more budgets in order to prevent the prospect of
crimes
Use synonyms
, whereas others argue that it can be mitigated by imposing the rules and regulations with strict
punishment
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will deliberate both viewpoints, which I presumably think that both ways are promising measures to reduce the crime rates. On the one hand,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
vast financial support invested by the
government
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can prevent the tendency of
offeces
Correct your spelling
offices
officers
because policemen have modern
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and effective tools to fight against bad
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, they can easier catch
Correct your spelling
thieves
thiefs
Correct your spelling
thieves
show examples
and criminals by installing more CCTV cameras at every corner of
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
,
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apply
show examples
and hiring more police officers. For
this
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reason, the municipality will get rid of the
crimes
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soon as most
of
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apply
show examples
offenders
Add an article
the offenders
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are arrested by the police.
On the other hand
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, imposing
the
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apply
show examples
strong
punishment
Use synonyms
for the
people
Use synonyms
, who commit a crime, is
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
efficient way to significantly reduce the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
. As a stricter penalty,
people
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are discouraged to do illicit
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
.
For Instance
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, according to the
headquater
Correct your spelling
headquarters
headquarter
of the police
office
Replace the word
officers
show examples
report, the number of
muderers
Correct your spelling
murderers
has dramatically declined by 50
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
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percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
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after the
government
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increased
a
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the
show examples
severity of the
punishment
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from being detained in
the
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apply
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jail for 30 years to being executed.
Therefore
Linking Words
, bad
people
Use synonyms
dare not to commit illegal activities, and
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
our society will be safe from the offenders. In conclusion,
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
the
government
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supports more financial investment on increasing CCTV and policemen, or consolidates the severity of the
punishment
Use synonyms
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both measures can
succesfully
Correct your spelling
successfully
eliminate the criminal rates.
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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