In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

#cultures #children #message

There has been a debate regarding the role of advertising in enhancing consumption. While many

advertisements

can attract people's attention while shopping

Change the punctuation

show examples

I would argue that they are too viral for them to notice. On the one hand, it is believed that

advertisements

can aid the consumption of items in increasing buying goods and services.

Firstly

, due to the fierce competition among companies nowadays

Change the punctuation

show examples

All brands want to promote their products to a wide range of consumers and stand out from their rivals, so they are willing to spend a lot of money on

advertisements

and marketing as well.

As a result

, it is really successful to convince people to buy their products.

Secondly

, since people tend to listen to the ones they admire,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

you will be attracted by it when you see them advertising any products.

For example

, if a person watches television and sees their celebrity endorsement / branding, they will trust the quality of that product and start searching for it on show adverts.

However

advertisements

are pretty much everywhere in my country that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

it a normal thing. Apart from TV commercials, magazines and newspapers, you can

also

see adverts on buses, taxes, and in coffee shops.

This

makes somebody feel annoyed and overwhelmed sometimes. Especially commercial breaks during a film because they run the flow.

Furthermore

, in order to attract viewers,

advertisements

that pop up on their laptop screen when they are watching Youtube or surfing the internet that

also

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

on their nerves.

Additionally

, some advertisers deliberately imitate their rival’s idea without noticeable distinction. If advertisers do not change

this

way, buyers will see many repetitive ads to the point of boredom. In conclusion, while

advertisements

can contribute to the growth of commerce, I believe they are so common that these items seem repetitive.

Submitted by hnphu79 on Mon Sep 27 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Include an introduction and conclusion

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write, and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages business to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time , but now they can live in many different places what are the reasons ? Is this positive or negative development ?