IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think technological development can reduce crime, while others think it would encourage crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #development #crime
Some people assume that technological advances can escalate
crimes
, while others say the development serves to curb illegal activities. From my perspective, both views have their justification, depending on the viewpoints from which we see the causal mechanism. On the one hand, there are reasons
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why some people associate technology breakthroughs with increased criminal activities. For those who think in
this
 way, they tend to assume the advent of digital tools provides would-be offenders with more opportunities to break laws, whether these be Internet fraud
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or computer hacking. To complicate matters even worse, the widespread use of the Internet
also
 makes it easier for criminals to do illegal business outside of their own countries. While the above reasoning does have its plausibility, I
also
 agree with the opinion that technological development can be
also
 used to curb
crimes
. Whether technological advance is a curse or blessing to lawbreakers is the outcome of complex causal configurations that act conjointly in the real world; the same technology that exacerbates
crimes
 may
also
 lead to positive results when joined by other factors. Back to computer
crimes
, the police force can
also
 take advantage of digital technology to track the information of offenders, e.g., their personal identification, or account information. By the same token, the Internet allows different countries to collaborate more closely in fighting cross-border
crimes
. From what has been discussed above, it is my conclusion ,
therefore
, the relevance of technological progression to
crimes
 can be considered from both positive and negative perspectives.
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: