IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that written communication is much less powerful than face to face interaction when it comes to conveying a message. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statemant?

#people #communication #face #interaction #message #statemant
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Other people consider that a written
message
Use synonyms
 has weighs lesser impact on persuasion compared to physical interaction. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss why I strongly agree with
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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, when reading a text the delivery and tone vary depending on the receiver.
Thus
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, the
message
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 and thought can be altered depending on the mood of the reader.
For example
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, if the sender wrote the
message
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 wholeheartedly persuading the receiver to borrow money, yet when the note is read by the tired person
then
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 it could be conveyed in a different tone.
As a result
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, the reader may interpret the
message
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 as being rude or opportunistic.
Secondly
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, written texts can be interpreted differently with the factor of penmanship.
Furthermore
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,
according to
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 statistics letters that are readable and printed gain a higher understanding compared to cursive ones.
For instance
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, the
message
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 can be lost in translation
due to
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 unreadable handwriting.
On the other hand
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, one of the advantages of face-to-face interaction is the involvement of both verbal and nonverbal cues. The person can talk and infer a
message
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 with the use of body language and verbal words.
Thus
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, there is a high percentage of understanding and influence on the subject.
For instance
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, in the field of business, car
salesman
Fix the agreement mistake
salesmen
show examples
 use verbal and nonverbal techniques in order to convince potential customers to buy
automotive
Replace the word
automobiles
show examples
.
Whereas
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, if the salesperson just distributes leaflets
then
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there
Rephrase
apply
show examples
there is a low chance of appeal. In conclusion,
in-person
Add an article
the in-person
an in-person
show examples
 exchange is more compelling compared to written messages. There are a lot of factors that affect the
message
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 in written communication
such
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 as penmanship and the mood of the receiver. Meanwhile, physical conversations are more effective
due to
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 the element of both spoken and signal cues.
Submitted by emmagallares on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument, such as citing studies on communication effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of vocabulary to avoid repeating similar phrases, and vary sentence structures for improved readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively provides an introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your position on the topic.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your main points, such as the car salesman analogy.
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