IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country’s #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #prevention #measures
Public health has always been an area of contention for many countries. A segment of society is convinced that it is better to prevent illnesses rather than to treat them.
Thus
, they believe that the
government
 should allocate funds to increase public awareness of diseases. I fully agree with
this
 opinion, because prevention would have a conducive effect on individuals and the economy. To commence, increasing the public awareness of illnesses and the reasons for their development is much cheaper and more efficient for the
government
 and individuals, than curing after their occurrence. Numerous serious diseases like cancer and diabetes are easy to prevent by changing the lifestyle of
people
.
For instance
,
people
 in many countries have wrong eating habits which can cause mental and physical issues. In order to prevent it, the
government
 can provide educational seminars for children and adults to guide them towards healthier choices.
People
 can easily be persuaded to follow a healthy lifestyle. Physically and mentally healthy inhabitants generate much more profit and stimulate the economy of the country. To illustrate, once a person gets any disease, he/she and their relatives will not be able to be productive in the workplace and generate profit.
This
 can significantly hamper economic development in case of epidemy occurrence.
However
,
this
 situation can be avoided if the
government
 funds timely vaccination. Public money should rather be spent on healthcare rather than showcase projects. To conclude, health is the greatest asset of a nation,
therefore
, the
government
 should allocate more budget on preventive measures of various illnesses. In the long term, encouraging
people
 to follow a healthy lifestyle, can reduce
government
 spendings on public healthcare.
Submitted by shoira.shakirovna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: