Rich countries should not give jobs to skilled workers (for example doctors and engineers )of poor countries as they are needed their home country more than the rich countries. How far do you agree or disagree with the statement given?

Nowadays, a plethora of individuals are migrating to foreign

countries

Use synonyms

in search of better opportunities

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

it is not a new phenomenon.A chunk of individuals

opines

Correct subject-verb agreement

opine

show examples

that

this

Linking Words

trend will be detrimental for the economy of the

Use synonyms

country

Punctuation problem

country,

show examples

whilst others are sceptical about it. I

;

Punctuation problem

show examples

Linking Words

however

Punctuation problem

however,

show examples

believe that it has both pros and cons and we need to delve into both sides before forming any opinions.

To begin

Linking Words

with, developed

countries

Use synonyms

get immense benefits by offering jobs to skilled

workers

Use synonyms

outside their

country

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, rich

countries

Use synonyms

have complicated modern economies, which

required

Wrong verb form

require

show examples

skilled and experienced

workers

Use synonyms

for the efficient operation of the

country

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, the corporations employ people from underdeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

so they can reduce the expenditure of the organisation as they pay them less compared to their native

workers

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, hourly wages are fixed by developed

countries

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

; therefore

show examples

therefore

Punctuation problem

therefore,

show examples

they cannot pay less than

minimum

Correct article usage

the minimum

show examples

wage

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

is mandatory by the authorities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the situation is indeed harmful to

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

countries

Use synonyms

as they spend enormous money to educate and generate productive labour so they can support their

Use synonyms

countries

Check wording

countries'

show examples

economies.

For instance

Linking Words

, it is estimated that India spends billions of dollars on tertiary education

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

when the time comes to serve the

Use synonyms

country

Punctuation problem

country,

show examples

they migrate to a foreign land.

This

Linking Words

process is called brain drain.

Linking Words

Thus

Punctuation problem

Thus,

show examples

it increases the wealth gap between

countries

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, it is true that skilled

workers

Use synonyms

need

Wrong verb form

are needed

show examples

everywhere. I feel they are needed more in their home

countries

Use synonyms

because they should pay back to their motherland by living there and serving their community. Henceforth, which

country

Use synonyms

should limit the number of foreign field

workers

Use synonyms

Change the punctuation

show examples

jotjeet9

Sep 28, 2021

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content

Make your own view clear in the end and keep a balance in the body.

structure

Use one idea per paragraph and add a strong topic sentence to guide the reader.

grammar

Use simple words and short sentences. Fix long run on sentences.

examples

Add a real example and explain it more simply, such as brain drain in India or another country.

cohesion

Connect ideas with clear link words like 'also', 'however', 'for example'.

strength

The essay shows both sides of the issue.

strength

Link words like 'On the other hand' are used well.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rich country
poor country
skilled worker
doctor
engineer
job
work
move
migrate
money sent home
home country
brain drain
return
temporary
work visa
policy
plan
invest
investment
growth
economy
development
opportunity
choice
fair
balance
benefit
cost
partnership
training
education
contract
agreement
support
skills

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