IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some experts believe it is better for animals to live in zoos where they are safe and are given all the food they need Do you think that living in zoos has more advantages or more disadvantages for animals?

#experts #animals #zoos #food
Nowadays, it is common that confined spaces
such
 as
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
 can be found in any country. On the upside, keeping many types of
animals
 in a
zoo
 might be good enough, while taking
animals
 under control has disadvantages too. In
this
 essay, both negative and positive points of
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
 could be implemented.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the beginning, zoos have several advantages.
First
, they play an important role to save endangered
animals
, like
Add an article
a panda
show examples
panda
Fix the agreement mistake
pandas
show examples
 or white
tiger
Fix the agreement mistake
tigers
show examples
, where they are protected from habitat loss, starvation and predators.
Secondly
, in a
zoo
,
animals
 allow researchers and scientists to obtain a better understanding of the way
animals
 live rather than chasing them in
wilderness
Add an article
the wilderness
show examples
.
Third
Change the article
The third
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, zoos can be educational, teaching children and
adults’
Correct your spelling
adults
show examples
 about
animals
 and the way they live. Especially biology teachers may reunite their lesson in a
zoo
 to encourage the students to take care of
animals
.
On the other hand
, zoos have several disadvantages. At
first
,
animals
 suffer from stress and boredom in captivity when there is a lack of space.
Secondly
,
animals
 might die earlier in restricted space according to the article in the “Nature” magazine.
Third
Change the article
The third
show examples
 case, some people consider themselves to be unethical for keeping
animals
 in a
zoo
.
Human
Add an article
The human
A human
show examples
 being does not have the right have
animals
 for fun or investigation. In conclusion, it is good to preserve
animals
 in a
zoo
, while others think that
animals
 should not depend on peoples’ needs.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: