IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to the rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent would you support or reject this idea You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In these modern times, it has been argued that
employees
Use synonyms
 aged above 50 do not respond to the
fast transforming
Add a hyphen
fast-transforming
show examples
 ideas in the recent working environment and
this
Linking Words
 leads to the preference for younger
employees
Use synonyms
. I completely reject
this
Linking Words
 statement with persuasive reasons and exemplars that can be put forth. First of all, older
employees
Use synonyms
 over 50 are keenly interested in the trend-new workplace as much as younger
employees
Use synonyms
 because it’s related to task performance. To be specific, in general, these
workers
Use synonyms
 aged above 50 are working as managers who are responsible for making better achievements in their work
field
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in recent years, the conditions of the workplace have become a crucial part of business.
This
Linking Words
 is because tons of studies have proved that a working environment can encourage
workers
Use synonyms
 to accelerate better results in their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
. Take Google
for example
Linking Words
, engineers are guaranteed a creative and innovative office environment to create excellent achievements by executives. Second of all, it is obviously seen that numerous
workers
Use synonyms
 over 50 are certainly susceptible to the paradigm shift of modern workplaces as they are
also
Linking Words
 highly trained and educated experts in a certain business
field
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, entrepreneurs have recommended that these senior
workers
Use synonyms
 attend various learning programmes to draw attractive ideas making better working spaces than before.
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 recent survey, a great number of realistic proposals on working conditions come from
workers
Use synonyms
 who are over 50
having
Wrong verb form
and have
show examples
 long experiences
while
Linking Words
 other youngsters are not familiar with changing business workspaces.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these older
employees
Use synonyms
 have had a key role
to lead
Change preposition
in leading
show examples
 the transition of the work
field
Use synonyms
 by using their experiences and know-how compared to younger
employees
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
employees
Use synonyms
 over 50 respond to the innovative suggestions in the new work
field
Use synonyms
 as much as younger
employees
Use synonyms
 because they are
also
Linking Words
 passionate
to catalyze
Change preposition
about catalyzing
show examples
 better performances and professions with a huge amount of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: