Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #home #country #countries #work #trend

In the present day, the number of adults moving to other countries has been increasingly popular among individuals.

This

phenomenon is responsible for high rates of immigration.

This

essay will discuss why

this

episode happens and if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. First and foremost, living in another country is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. There are a plethora of positive

sides

but

also

there are negative

sides

such

as the lack of family and close friends;

in addition

, the idea of embarking on a new career in a different place is a complex and hard decision, since the individuals would need to start from the scratch.

For example

, some research shows that in the first

months

Add a comma

months,

show examples

the person needs to save a lot of money in case of unexpected situations;

moreover

this

person can present symptoms related to anxiety and depression, compromising their mental health

due to

difficulties and absence of familiar faces.

Secondly

, in the fast-paced world with the advance of globalization and technology people have much more opportunities to study and work in any part of the world.

Although

some small cities are in

process

Correct article usage

the process

show examples

of development, it is in the enormous urban centres that citizens can make better choices which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to people

move

Wrong verb form

moving

show examples

another country

Fix the agreement mistake

other countries

show examples

seeking better opportunities for jobs and

also

studies.

Furthermore

, the advantages are

innumerous

Replace the word

numerous

show examples

since they not only can learn a new international language but

also

can make a name for themselves through hands-on experience in prestigious international companies.

For instance

, a young who studies abroad has much more chances to be selected to work in big cities

such

as New York and Toronto different from a boy who

preferred

Wrong verb form

prefers

show examples

to continue studying in his hometown. For these cited reasons, certainly, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In conclusion, immigration is a serious process that can change completely the lives of people who looking for better opportunities. Studying and working abroad can broaden the horizons of any individual as they will contact with different cultures.

This

essay

discoursed

Verb problem

discusses

show examples

why

this

process has

been happened

Change to the active voice

happened

show examples

and

explained

Wrong verb form

explains

show examples

why the positive

sides

outweigh the negative

sides

Submitted by larissafelipin on Tue Sep 28 2021

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task achievement

Your introduction introduces the main topic well, but it could be improved by being more specific about the points you will cover in the essay.

coherence cohesion

There are some grammatical issues and awkward phrasings that affect the clarity of your ideas. For instance, 'This phenomenon is responsible for high rates of immigration' could be expressed more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Consider using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the fluency and interest of your writing.

coherence cohesion

Your paragraphs are well-organized and follow a logical progression, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using more transition words could improve the flow.

task achievement

Some of your examples, while relevant, could be more direct in supporting your points. For instance, the example about the young person studying abroad could be more closely tied to the advantages of living in another country.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes your essay easy to follow.

task achievement

You discuss both advantages and disadvantages of living in another country, showing a balanced approach.

task achievement

Your essay ends with a strong conclusion that reiterates your main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Economic migrant
Brain drain
Cultural assimilation
Remittances
Expatriate
Diaspora
Transnational
Host country
Country of origin
Push and pull factors
Standard of living
Political asylum
Cross-cultural
Migrant workforce
Integration policy

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Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Describe a process of geothermal power plant ? What is the diagram of? How many steps are there? What happens in each step? What are the components, or parts of the process? Is the process mechanical or natural, or both? Where does the process start? Where does it finish?

Nowadays, many young people are attracted to dangerous sports such as snowboarding or mountain biking. What makes these sports so attractive? What measures should be taken to minimize the risks?

many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.