Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

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In the present day, the number of adults moving to other countries has been increasingly popular among individuals.

This

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phenomenon is responsible for high rates of immigration.

This

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essay will discuss why

this

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episode happens and if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. First and foremost, living in another country is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. There are a plethora of positive

sides

Use synonyms

but

also

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there are negative

sides

Use synonyms

such

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as the lack of family and close friends;

in addition

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, the idea of embarking on a new career in a different place is a complex and hard decision, since the individuals would need to start from the scratch.

For example

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, some research shows that in the first

months

Add a comma

months,

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the person needs to save a lot of money in case of unexpected situations;

moreover

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this

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person can present symptoms related to anxiety and depression, compromising their mental health

due to

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difficulties and absence of familiar faces.

Secondly

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, in the fast-paced world with the advance of globalization and technology people have much more opportunities to study and work in any part of the world.

Although

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some small cities are in

process

Correct article usage

the process

show examples

of development, it is in the enormous urban centres that citizens can make better choices which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to people

move

Wrong verb form

moving

show examples

another country

Fix the agreement mistake

other countries

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seeking better opportunities for jobs and

also

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studies.

Furthermore

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, the advantages are

innumerous

Replace the word

numerous

show examples

since they not only can learn a new international language but

also

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can make a name for themselves through hands-on experience in prestigious international companies.

For instance

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, a young who studies abroad has much more chances to be selected to work in big cities

such

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as New York and Toronto different from a boy who

preferred

Wrong verb form

prefers

show examples

to continue studying in his hometown. For these cited reasons, certainly, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In conclusion, immigration is a serious process that can change completely the lives of people who looking for better opportunities. Studying and working abroad can broaden the horizons of any individual as they will contact with different cultures.

This

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essay

discoursed

Verb problem

discusses

show examples

why

this

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process has

been happened

Change to the active voice

happened

show examples

and

explained

Wrong verb form

explains

show examples

why the positive

sides

Use synonyms

outweigh the negative

sides

Use synonyms

larissafelipinTue Sep 28 2021

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task achievement

Your introduction introduces the main topic well, but it could be improved by being more specific about the points you will cover in the essay.

coherence cohesion

There are some grammatical issues and awkward phrasings that affect the clarity of your ideas. For instance, 'This phenomenon is responsible for high rates of immigration' could be expressed more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Consider using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the fluency and interest of your writing.

coherence cohesion

Your paragraphs are well-organized and follow a logical progression, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using more transition words could improve the flow.

task achievement

Some of your examples, while relevant, could be more direct in supporting your points. For instance, the example about the young person studying abroad could be more closely tied to the advantages of living in another country.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes your essay easy to follow.

task achievement

You discuss both advantages and disadvantages of living in another country, showing a balanced approach.

task achievement

Your essay ends with a strong conclusion that reiterates your main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

351 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Economic migrant
Brain drain
Cultural assimilation
Remittances
Expatriate
Diaspora
Transnational
Host country
Country of origin
Push and pull factors
Standard of living
Political asylum
Cross-cultural
Migrant workforce
Integration policy

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Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Your opinion

Some parents nowadays put more pressure on their children to succeed. Why? Negative or positive?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet, but the constant availability of any information worsens people’s memory and critical thinking skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The increasing prevalence of convenience food will lead to traditional methods of cooking disappearing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?