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Band 5

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #face #development
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In recent times, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who want to meet friends through online platforms are increasing when compared to those who want to meet in person. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative development as it increases isolation,
potential
Add an article
a potential
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 risk in meeting new
people
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 as well as cause issues in later years of life. Earlier,
people
Use synonyms
 used to take
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
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 to go out and meet their family and friends,
for example
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: in cafes, bars, or restaurants. When families or friends used to meet up like
this
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 there were real communications, fun and frolic. Now
that is
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 not the case,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay in their rooms and chat online,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to a lack of enthusiasm in meeting
people
Use synonyms
 outside their comfort zone.
This
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 lack of interaction and real conversations have created
a
Correct article usage
apply
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havoc in many lives leading to depression and dejection.
In addition
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 to
this
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, meeting new
people
Use synonyms
 online has many underlying risks.
People
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 assume fake identities and hide their true characteristics creating issues in many
people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Replace the word
lives
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, particularly in teenagers. Since they are easily impressionable, many of them fall into unforeseen traps.
Furthermore
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, parents are not able to monitor the activities of their folks online, in order to protect them.
Lastly
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, socializing online can end in difficulties years later as conversations and posts that
has
Change the verb form
have
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 been forgotten reappear. As young adults are not very careful in what to be posted online, many intimate communications
Correct your spelling
may be
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maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
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 posted which may resurface years later causing embarrassment later. In conclusion,
although
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 online socialization has been gaining popularity, especially in adolescents it is definitely not a positive trend.
Submitted by jubee.varghese on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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