IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #face #development
In recent times, the number of
people
 who want to meet friends through online platforms are increasing when compared to those who want to meet in person. In my opinion,
this
 is a negative development as it increases isolation,
potential
Add an article
a potential
show examples
 risk in meeting new
people
 as well as cause issues in later years of life. Earlier,
people
 used to take
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
 to go out and meet their family and friends,
for example
: in cafes, bars, or restaurants. When families or friends used to meet up like
this
 there were real communications, fun and frolic. Now
that is
 not the case,
people
 prefer to stay in their rooms and chat online,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to a lack of enthusiasm in meeting
people
 outside their comfort zone.
This
 lack of interaction and real conversations have created
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
havoc in many lives leading to depression and dejection.
In addition
 to
this
, meeting new
people
 online has many underlying risks.
People
 assume fake identities and hide their true characteristics creating issues in many
people
’s
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
, particularly in teenagers. Since they are easily impressionable, many of them fall into unforeseen traps.
Furthermore
, parents are not able to monitor the activities of their folks online, in order to protect them.
Lastly
, socializing online can end in difficulties years later as conversations and posts that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been forgotten reappear. As young adults are not very careful in what to be posted online, many intimate communications
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 posted which may resurface years later causing embarrassment later. In conclusion,
although
 online socialization has been gaining popularity, especially in adolescents it is definitely not a positive trend.
Submitted by jubee.varghese on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: