IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? What are the SOLUTIONS?

#people #cities #exercise
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It is argued that living in urban areas blame for
lack
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the lack
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 of physical activity between human populations.
This
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 essay will discuss
fundamental
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the fundamental
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 causes of
this
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 problem and find some possible solutions for it. Having
hectic
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a hectic
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 lifestyle and living in industrial cities are
main
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the main
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 reasons that
people
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 who have been living there take less attention to doing regular activity .
First
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 of all, It is undeniable that all of us have really busy
sechulde
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seclude
, we have to work nine to five for satisfied what our family needed,
thus
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, we can not find some hours to do sport and we prefer to spend our spare time for resting at home or spend with
pur
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our
 family and friends. The other cause for the given issue is that
,
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apply
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 the atmosphere of capital cities force
people
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 to use their own cars or public transportations
such
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 as
bussus
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busses
byssus
, trains and etc.
For instance
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,
people
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 who have been lived in cities
,
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apply
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 thought that if we used bikes
instead
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 of vehicles, we would lose some hours
in
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on
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 the road and the risk of accidents would be increased. There are some solutions for problems which I mentioned before like raising public awareness and encourage young adults to do regular
exercise
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 from an early age. Raising public awareness about positive aspects of
exercise
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 might be beneficial to give
people
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mitivations
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motivations
motivation
 for doing sport even in their apartment which located in the city
center
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centre
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. Many programs were created to extend human's knowledge in the past and
fortunatelly
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fortunately
unfortunately
 they put positive effects. Especially noteworthy is that, doctors play a vital role in their patient's
mind
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minds
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, they can patients that there is a strong relation between doing sports frequently and getting away from many diseases like blood pressure and heart attack. Teachers can encourage children to do
exercise
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 from young
ages
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age
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, as a consequence, when students will become older, they'll do
phycisal
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physical
 activities in their routine life. to conclude,
although
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 living in the urban areas blame for lack of
exercise
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 but there are some ways that must be taken into consideration to solve
this
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 popular problem.
Submitted by aminpost on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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