Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. Causes and solutions.

These days, youngsters tend to behave aggressively with people compared to the

last

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generation .

Although

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that

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apply

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this

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tendency may lead to several obvious harmful consequences , I believe that it has many certain causes and can be solved by taking some special measures . On the one hand , one of the major obvious factors for

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issue is poor parental supervision . When parents do not provide sufficient supervision , teenagers are prone to engage in aggressive behaviours because they are not mature enough to make good choices for themselves.

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,these adolescents tend to make friends with the wrong people and experiment with bad habits

such

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as alcohol and

drug

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drugs

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, the wide use of technological development affects negatively the behaviours of youngsters because it contains a high amount of verbal and physical violence and

then

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they think that aggressive behaviours are tolerable among people .

For example

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, many researchers show that computer games may cause aggression between

youngers

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youngsters

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Thus

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this

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issue should be solved

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the government and parents level .

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, in spite of all these reasons , there are several effective solutions that can decrease the potency of

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problem .

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, parents should be involved in teenagers'

life

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lives

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because they play an active role in their lives .

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, they have to teach their children the main moral concept

about

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how to act politely and respectfully .

Secondly

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, the government should control the content of videos that are shared in media and apps on phones and restrict the spread of offensive acts that encourage

youngers

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younger

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to act aggressively . In conclusion , I believe that

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issue is caused mainly by poor parental supervision and the excessive use of technological devices .

However

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, there are several effective solutions that can reduce the severity of

this

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phenomenon .

elgalalafatimazahraWed Sep 29 2021

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Task Achievement

The introduction clearly states the topic and presents your opinion, which is great. However, you could improve clarity by separating the causes and solutions more distinctly in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to define 'youngsters' clearly as 'young people' to maintain consistency throughout your essay. Additionally, the phrase 'tend to behave aggressively with people' could be rephrased to 'tend to behave aggressively towards others' for improved fluency.

Task Achievement

Try to provide a more specific example for your argument about parental supervision. Perhaps you could mention a study or statistics that demonstrate the link between parental involvement and youth behavior.

Task Achievement

You effectively identified and discussed the main causes and solutions concerning the behavior of young people, which is key to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has good overall structure, with clear paragraphs that address different points, making it easy to follow and understand.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

transnational problems
climate change
ozone layer depletion
pollution
collaborative efforts
pooling of resources
expertise
technology
innovative solutions
international standards
race to the bottom
environmental standards
capacity
impacts
national sovereignty
independently
economic
social contexts
international consensus
legal
political systems
enforcement

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Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. Causes and solutions.

Your opinion

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job trainning are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe governments should spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out completely. Others think this is a waste of financial resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.