In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
of parents prefer to pay for
home
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
and let their children accept
educate
Replace the word
education
show examples
at
home
and are not like to send them to
school
. In my opinion, go to
school
will get lots of skills for me than stay at
home
.
Firstly
, the reason why we need to go to
school
is that we can
learned
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
community ability at
school
, it is the skill that you are
impossible
Change the adjective
impossibly
show examples
learned
Change the verb form
to learn
show examples
at
home
. When the students find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vocation in the future,
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
skill is must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be.
Hence
, the
first
reason is
Replace the word
that
show examples
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
it.
Second
, pressure is important when we study at
school
, too much pressure will
killed
Change the verb form
kill
show examples
a person, it will
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
some scared emotion to us, like anxiety and depression.
However
, some stress can help us has more diligent to finish our homework or test.
In addition
, compare with each other is a common situation that we are likely to have, it
also
brings lots of stress for everyone, but
this
is a brilliant experience. In conclusion, study at
home
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
likely
cause
Add the particle
to cause
show examples
a person does not connect with society, it is
worsley
Correct your spelling
worse
Worsley
, and educate at
school
with classmate and friends
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
many benefit that you cannot
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
image.
Submitted by roe on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: