In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school #outweigh

Nowadays,

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

of parents prefer to pay for

home

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

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and let their children accept

educate

Replace the word

education

show examples

home

and are not like to send them to

school

. In my opinion, go to

school

will get lots of skills for me than stay at

home

Firstly

, the reason why we need to go to

school

is that we can

learned

Change the verb form

learn

show examples

community ability at

school

, it is the skill that you are

impossible

Change the adjective

impossibly

show examples

learned

Change the verb form

to learn

show examples

home

. When the students find

the

Correct article usage

show examples

vocation in the future,

communicate

Replace the word

communication

show examples

skill is must

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

be.

Hence

, the

first

reason is

Replace the word

that

show examples

because

Add the preposition

ofbecause

show examples

it.

Second

, pressure is important when we study at

school

, too much pressure will

killed

Change the verb form

kill

show examples

a person, it will

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

some scared emotion to us, like anxiety and depression.

However

, some stress can help us has more diligent to finish our homework or test.

In addition

, compare with each other is a common situation that we are likely to have, it

also

brings lots of stress for everyone, but

this

is a brilliant experience. In conclusion, study at

home

are

Change the verb form

show examples

likely

cause

Add the particle

to cause

show examples

a person does not connect with society, it is

worsley

Correct your spelling

worse

Worsley

, and educate at

school

with classmate and friends

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

many benefit that you cannot

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

image.

Submitted by roe on Wed Sep 29 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

204 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think it is better to have a single legal system worldwide. Others say countries should have their law. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide the public a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (OPINION ESSAY)

discuss whether the advantages of nuclear energy outweigh the potentia risk and environment concern

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Today, it is very common to have people from two different generations mix in the same workplace. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this situation?