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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it.What are the causes of this? How to overcome this problem

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
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In
this
Linking Words
fast paced
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fast-paced
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of
Change preposition
apply
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life
Use synonyms
, everyone wants to be independent.Some people are able to manage their professional and personal
life
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.
Linking Words
However
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,However
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 others may find it difficult to keep balance.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
elucidates
Change the verb form
elucidate
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 that
complexity
Correct article usage
the complexity
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 of
work
Use synonyms
 and inflation are rudimentary causes of it and it will suggest some potential
measurs
Correct your spelling
measures
 to tackle
this
Linking Words
. To commence with, there are numerous factors that make people prioritise their
work
Use synonyms
 over family.
Firstly
Linking Words
, due to
complex
Correct article usage
the complex
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 nature of
work
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, people are spending
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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time
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 at their office.
This
Linking Words
 extended working
hours
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are not only create
Change the verb form
are not only created
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 conflict in their personal relations but
also
Linking Words
 reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity. A study by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Harward University revealed that
twenty- five
Correct your spelling
twenty-five
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of workers who spend maximum
time
Use synonyms
 at their workplace are either going through depression or any serious health issues.
Moreover
Linking Words
, inflation is the other contributing factor to disturb
life
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. Because of
hike
Correct article usage
the hike
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of
Change preposition
in
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price
Correct article usage
the price
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 of goods and services , employees are working extra
hours
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 to get more money that
able
Add a missing verb
is able
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 to safeguard
a
Correct article usage
the
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 better future
of
Change preposition
for
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 their kids. Taking into consideration all the aforementioned reasons, measures to solve
this
Linking Words
 be
constructively
Replace the adverb
constructive
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. The
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
 should impose strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
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 to fix the working
hours
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, those who find to
work
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 more
hours
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 will be penalized.
For
Linking Words
instance
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,instance
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 parents who spend more
time
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 with their kids are
perfome
Correct your spelling
perform
performed
 excellent in their office. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, employers must give long holidays so they can spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their families which resulting in strengthening their bond and alleviate their stress. To conclude, it can be stated that workload and hiking in prices of basic things are
striking
Add an article
a striking
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factor
Change the noun form
factors
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 of
Use synonyms
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
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life
Use synonyms
 imbalance which can be resolved by engaging individuals into recreational
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
.
Submitted by Shifali sharma on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance: the equilibrium between one's job responsibilities and personal life.
  • Overwork: working too hard or for excessive amounts of time.
  • Remote work: working from a location other than the central work office, often from home.
  • Flexible working hours: work hours that are adaptable to suit an employee's needs.
  • Commuting: traveling between one's home and workplace.
  • Digital technology: electronic tools and systems used to generate, store, and process data, often leading to increased connectivity.
  • Disconnect: to detach from technology or work communications, often to establish boundaries.
  • Time management: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • Prioritize: to determine the order for dealing with tasks according to their importance.
  • Employer support: programs or practices employed by an organization to assist employees in managing work and personal roles.
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