IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services
Government is an imperative part of any nation which assist to establish law and order for the development of
such
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
 by taking investment decisions precisely. Many individuals opine that funds use by public authorities for the establishment of cinemas,
music
 composition and arts is an act of improvidence and
therefore
 money can be used for public
services
, whilst others are
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
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 about it. I,
however
, side with the panorama that money utilized for public service can have more good impacts
for
Change preposition
on
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 the economy as compared to using the same for arts and theatres. Indubitably,
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
nation
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a nation
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 depends upon
infrastructural
Correct article usage
the infrastructural
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 and medical facilities of
such
country
Correct article usage
a country
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.
Economy
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The economy
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 of any
country
 can proliferate
,
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apply
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 if
country
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the country
a country
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 is having good roads, railways and
port
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ports
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 for commercial activities.
This
 lead to
creation
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the creation
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 of employment and flow of money in
such
state
Correct article usage
a state
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 which blatantly raise the standard of living of civilians. Public
services
requires
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require
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 adequate funding
,
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apply
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 so that people of the society can utilize
such
services
 irrespective of their income. To epitomize, one can live without
art
 and
music
 but it is laborious for people of society to live without medicines.
Nevertheless
,
art
 and
music
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 quintessential of
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
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 and heritage of
such
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
. Traditions, roots and beliefs which are associated with
art
 and
music
 is an integral part of
human
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the human
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 race. Irrefutably,
music
 and cinema
helps
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help
show examples
 humans to rejuvenate themselves from worries and sorrows which is encountered by them in their daily life. Arts open various opportunities for individuals which makes their life prosperous. In my closing comment, I would like to say that investment in public
services
such
 as medical facilities, infrastructure
such
 as
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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, rail and ports are more imperative
then
Replace the word
than
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 that of investments in
art
 and theatres.I
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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