IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the world of digitalization and modernization,
advertisements
Use synonyms
 have become a crucial industry that affects modern
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 in recent years. Many
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 can leave harmful impact
ro
Correct your spelling
to
 consumers. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why advertising has negative effects on
people
Use synonyms
 despite a few potential advantages. On the one hand, Well-designed advertisement strategies affect the buying decisions of customers on purchasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful products.
In other words
Linking Words
, commercials promote
people
Use synonyms
 to consume everything by telling
people
Use synonyms
 only the positive sides.
For instance
Linking Words
, unhealthy drink,
such
Linking Words
 as Coca Cola, use the influencer like Black Pink promotes their goods. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, the effect of the drink itself can contribute to diabetes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is a justified idea that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 have negative effects on consumers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another form of campaigning is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
campaign advertising that serves as an emphasis on the importance of gender equality, or the
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 protection may have beneficial sides
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some extent. These kinds of
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 can play a positive role and raise awareness about social and environmental issues.
For example
Linking Words
, a television commercial depicting the danger of
hazerdous
Correct your spelling
hazardous
 wildfire that damage wildlife animals houses in Australia can
went
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 viral, and trillions of
people
Use synonyms
 watched it within only a few days.
Thus
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 ads might influence positively consumers. In conclusion, as
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are a part of our life,
this
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with the view that publicity can affect
people
Use synonyms
 in
negative
Change the article
a negative
show examples
 way because of the cause of the disease from unhealthy products.
Conversely
Linking Words
, some ads might be beneficial for audiences.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: