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Writing Samples
Band 6

One world government is better than a national government. Do the benefits outweigh disadvantages

#world #government
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There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that
one
Use synonyms
 global governor may bring more tremendous
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 to the
residentials
Replace the word
residents
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 than the national
one
Use synonyms
. From my point of view, I am well convinced to be an opponent to
this
Linking Words
 notion. It is irrefutable that
one
Use synonyms
 federal government may act as a disturbance to people. Obviously, cultures accompanied by policies possess a polar distinct from
one
Use synonyms
 to
another areas
Replace the adjective
another area
other areas
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the combination of a wave of nations from all over the
world
Use synonyms
 to only
one
Use synonyms
 authority may seriously trigger undesirable conflicts
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and even fatal wars between those. Even trivial countries namely South and North Korea,
for instance
Linking Words
, which used to be
one
Use synonyms
, had suffered from the difference of belief in religions and had to divide
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 in order to settle well let alone the globe.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a general governor may face an obstacle in terms of harmonization among regions. Meanwhile, the internal government may be a
far reaching
Add a hyphen
far-reaching
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 method in terms of controlling. It is a common norm that each part of the
world
Use synonyms
 has specific issues as well as regulations.
Thus
Linking Words
, having various domestic authorities may effectively come up with reasonable solutions to deal with those social problems along with facilitating the economy’s prosperity. Vietnam, which had previously fought for independence with a view to setting their own legislations and implementing the nation in the tactic that they believed to be appropriate, can be cited as a viable example. What’s more, rather than associating
the
Change preposition
with the
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world
Use synonyms
, it is better to create international unions
such
Linking Words
 as the ASEAN or the EU so as to connect all sectors around the Earth. By doing so, not only may the globe operate efficiently but
also
Linking Words
 people may have the opportunities to reside in suitable nations at ease. To sum up, I would contend that the
world
Use synonyms
 shouldn’t adopt a worldwide government.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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