Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time 9n sports.Why is ot?Is it a positive or negative development?

this

Linking Words

modern society,it is deemed that the younglings are deploying the majority of their hours on playing digital technologies

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while using a minute time on outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will explain that the advancement in the addictiveness of automatic play is the main reason and it results in more of impinge impact than the salutary effect. To embark with, today's youth are being engrossed in laptop

games

Use synonyms

owing to the presence of a variety of attractive

activities

Use synonyms

.To elaborate,due to the emergence of modernisation,unlike erstwhile periods children can play

games

Use synonyms

indoors without engaging with other pupils ,as the modern machines consist of various

activities

Use synonyms

along with rewards.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,these visuals with audio play not only

emerse

Correct your spelling

emerge

them to continue the play but

also

Linking Words

render a plethora of satisfaction at the end without engaging in physical hardship.Whereas, outdoor action required more physical

activities

Use synonyms

which preclude the current pupils from engaging. To exemplify,it was evident that more than 50%of the youngsters across the globe prefer playing computer

games

Use synonyms

owing to the diverse addictive play. In my opinion,too much usage of cyber

games

Use synonyms

by younglings can

ensue

Correct your spelling

ensure

show examples

severe drawbacks.To specify, consistent usage of indoor internet

activities

Use synonyms

can result in having numerous health crises from a young age.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the cons are not visible at the moment,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be gradually seen during the ageing process.In fact, ailments entailing overweight,vision problems,back pain, body stiffness and decreased metabolism are the common diseases acknowledged in current youth,which was an unfeasible condition in the past.

For instance

Linking Words

,an American paediatrician has evidenced that ,currently more than 60%of the offspring who are addicted to computer

games

Use synonyms

are suffering from the various disease compared to other. To conclude,I want to reiterate that the surge in attractiveness of cyber

games

Use synonyms

is the chief cause of the children getting engrossed in its

activities

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

,I believe that it has more of a demerit than merit,as it leads to major health hazards in children including vision problems and weight gain from childhood.

tnyidon193

Sep 30, 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Banking and its role in our life. Methods of paying.
Banking and funding are very important for the functioning of the modern world. Without a banking system, the way we profit for capital would not work. As a result, they allow people to save money, and pay for things easily and securely..
8
band
It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvanatges to this?
Nowadays, more individuals are opting to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Although this approach enables them to gain valuable work experience, it also hinders their capability to focus on their further studies, as this time break can result in a loss of academic momentum.
7
band
Some countries invest a significant amount of money in promoting the use of bicycles . Why do you think this is the case ? Does it have a positive or a negative impact on individuals and the society ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience .
Environmental concerns and health awareness are increasingly at the forefront of public policy , motivating countries to invest heavily in promoting the use of bicycles . It seems to me that this move benefits almost every member of society and , therefore , the investment is justified . One obvious reason for this investment is the growing recognition of the environmental benefits associated with cycling . Bicycles , as a clean and green mode of transportation , significantly reduce carbon emissions compared to motor vehicles . Cities like Amsterdam and Copenhagen , for instance , have successfully reduced their carbon footprint by implementing extensive cycling infrastructure and encouraging residents to cycle regularly . This shift improves local air quality , making cities more livable and sustainable , while simultaneously contributing to global efforts against climate change . The promotion of cycling has a profoundly positive impact on public health . Regular bike riding is k...
7.5
band
Some people think that increasing the cost of fuel is one of the best ways to solve environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion？
There are many causes leading to environmental problems in our world and some people believe that only increasing the cost of fossil fuels can address those issues. In my opinion, I slightly disagree with this idea and my reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
6
band
Teenagers nowadays spend too much time on playing video games. Describe the effects on teenagers, families, and society. Report the measures to solve the problem.
It is argued that in recent days, teens have spent a lot of time on PlayStation, which causes them to spend a few minutes with their families. To solve this problem, teens can play only on the weekends and only for a limited amount of time.

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time 9n sports.Why is ot?Is it a positive or negative development?

Banking and its role in our life. Methods of paying.

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvanatges to this?

Some people think that increasing the cost of fuel is one of the best ways to solve environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion？

Teenagers nowadays spend too much time on playing video games. Describe the effects on teenagers, families, and society. Report the measures to solve the problem.