Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time 9n sports.Why is ot?Is it a positive or negative development?
In
this
modern society,it is deemed that the younglings are deploying the majority of their hours on playing digital technologies,
while using a minute time on outdoor Remove the comma
apply
activities
.This
essay will explain that the advancement in the addictiveness of automatic play is the main reason and it results in more of impinge impact than the salutary effect.
To embark with, today's youth are being engrossed in laptop games
owing to the presence of a variety of attractive activities
.To elaborate,due to the emergence of modernisation,unlike erstwhile periods children can play games
indoors without engaging with other pupils ,as the modern machines consist of various activities
along with rewards.Furthermore
,these visuals with audio play not only emerse
them to continue the play but Correct your spelling
emerge
also
render a plethora of satisfaction at the end without engaging in physical hardship.Whereas, outdoor action required more physical activities
which preclude the current pupils from engaging. To exemplify,it was evident that more than 50%of the youngsters across the globe prefer playing computer games
owing to the diverse addictive play.
In my opinion,too much usage of cyber games
by younglings can ensue
severe drawbacks.To specify, consistent usage of indoor internet Correct your spelling
ensure
activities
can result in having numerous health crises from a young age. Although
,
the cons are not visible at the moment,Remove the comma
apply
it
can be gradually seen during the ageing process.In fact, ailments entailing overweight,vision problems,back pain, body stiffness and decreased metabolism are the common diseases acknowledged in current youth,which was an unfeasible condition in the past.Correct pronoun usage
they
For instance
,an American paediatrician has evidenced that ,currently more than 60%of the offspring who are addicted to computer games
are suffering from the various disease compared to other.
To conclude,I want to reiterate that the surge in attractiveness of cyber games
is the chief cause of the children getting engrossed in its activities
.Therefore
,I believe that it has more of a demerit than merit,as it leads to major health hazards in children including vision problems and weight gain from childhood.Submitted by tnyidon193 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite