IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Teenagers face a lot of problems in school and at home. What is the cause of this? How can parents solve this problem?

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Teen years are the most significant and complicated in every human’s
life
Use synonyms
.
It’s
Replace the word
Its
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 causes may be very different
such
Linking Words
 as
problems
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 with school,
parents
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 and friends.
Therefore
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers should help them to deal with their issues. It’s clearly known that teens are needed to make the most important
chose
Replace the word
choice
show examples
 in their
life
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because people finish their middle school
in
Change preposition
at
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 that
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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 and go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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universities, jobs. I will give an example
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 my
life
Use synonyms
. I’m studying in 12 grade at
this
Linking Words
 moment and I have 10 subjects every day. The amount of stress equals the amount of information I need to learn.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 there are a lot of cases of misunderstandings between teens and their
parents
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 today. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 put pressure on their kids.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 force them to work or choose
unloved
Add an article
an unloved
the unloved
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 profession. These are not all the
problems
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 teenagers face. It is a global problem that must be solved because
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 of
earth
Add an article
the earth
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 is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 teenager’s hands. People need to do their best especially
parents
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they are responsible to
Use synonyms
Add an article
the life
a life
show examples
life
Replace the word
live
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 of their kids. There are several
Correct your spelling
devices
Correct quantifier usage
pieces of advices
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advices
Change the wording
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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 to make
life
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 better.
Firstly
Linking Words
family
Correct article usage
the family
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 should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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talk about everything with each other and work out all the
problems
Use synonyms
 together.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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parents
Use synonyms
 should take
a psychology courses
Correct the article-noun agreement
psychology courses
a psychology course
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 to settle relations with their
teen
Fix the agreement mistake
teens
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 will learn how to support and respect kid’s
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
. If there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
relations
Change the noun form
relation
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 in
family
Add an article
the family
a family
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 it will be easy to cope with school
problems
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. Summing up we can say that all
problems
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 can be solved and
this
Linking Words
 one is
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
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exception
Add an article
an exception
the exception
show examples
. The main thing is understanding and
parents
Use synonyms
 should keep in mind it.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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