IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

SHOULD GOVERNMENT REGULATE THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRIES IN THE SAME WAY THAT REGULATES THE DRUG, ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO INDUSTRIES

#government #food #industries #drug #alcohol #tobacco
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In
this
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 day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the opinion that the authorities need to impose stringent regulations
to
Change preposition
on
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 the
fast-food
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 industries like the way they do with drug, alcohol, and tobacco industries. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
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 perspective
with
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for
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 the following reasons.
First
Linking Words
, fast food is quite
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for those who do not have enough time to cook their meals.
People
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 can buy fast food everywhere on the street or book the food on
Correct article usage
a website
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website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
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 through their gadgets.
For example
Linking Words
, office workers can easily find and order their favourite foods on
Correct your spelling
food panda
foodpanda
Correct article usage
the foodpanda
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 application, and the app will automatically find a nearby driver to grab the order to their office.
As a result
Linking Words
, the officers could eat quickly and have more time to rest before back to work. Another reason is that
Use synonyms
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
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 has
less
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fewer
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 adverse impacts on
people
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’s health and society as a whole than
drug
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drugs
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, alcohol and tobacco. If
people
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 abuse these stimulants on a regular basis, they will lose their
well
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good
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 performance at work.
Consequencely
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Consequently
,
people
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 would apparently lose their current occupation, which could leap
for ward
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forward
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 the proportion of unemployment.
By contrast
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, eating
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fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
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overwhelmly
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overwhelmingly
overwhelming
 might raise a decent calorie in
body
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the body
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
people
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 can prevent the detrimental of
Use synonyms
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
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to
Change preposition
on
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 their health by doing exercises and maintaining a healthy lifestyle on a daily basis. For the reasons I mentioned above, I totally believe that it is more beneficial for the government to regulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast-food
Use synonyms
 manufactures in a less strict way than the drug, alcohol, and tobacco industries.
Submitted by thjenthansoi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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