Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#studies #teenagers #person #case #measures #time

Most researches show that a number of juveniles have a tendency to meet with other

people

online rather than meeting in person.

This

aim can be explained by the benefits of

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

and

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

era,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

however

many suggest that teenagers should be spending their leisure

time

with other

people

without using technology, one by one

in particular

. Adolescents are very intelligent when their technological skills comparing with the rest of

people

. Some

people

believe that forcing these young

people

to spend more

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

meeting others

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outside will affect their personal improvement.

However

, we have extraordinary possibilities to using cutting-edge technology which develop our lives significantly. In my opinion, teenagers can be socialised online, I can not find any negative point

Change preposition

show examples

this

situation. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they have a lot of benefits while spending more

time

at their homes.

For instance

, they can save more

time

or they do not have flu while talking to other

people

in person without any mask. A friend of mine has a plethora of friends, but she has not been met without the internet until today. She believes that she protect herself from other harmful and toxic exposures and she can do other activities at the same moment. Teenager’s attitudes can be negotiable when their thoughts are not clear, but we have some responsibilities to encourage them to spend their free

time

to meet

Change the verb form

meeting

show examples

others outside. Young

people

’s

this

aim seems to us beneficial,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

we can support their health as well. The most remarkable reason to support my idea is, we can force them to have some fresh air. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they are always in a room to connect internet via some gadgets and it is hard to be healthy. It can be hard sometimes, but we must be persistent to persuade them to enrol in outdoor activities.

In addition

, using online platforms make them less sensitive to other

people

and we can explain

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the advantages of meeting

people

in person to prevent

this

wrong behaviour.

Otherwise

, the thriving

people

will be more selfish in future. Taking everything into consideration, using technology to be in touch is very useful nowadays.

However

, while using

this

big opportunity we should create balance when avoiding

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some inappropriate situations and we should support teenagers about being outside with others.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

383 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

socialization
curate
engaging
social anxiety
digital detox
tech-free zones
mentorship programs
real-world interactions
face-to-face settings
in-person participation
promote
deter
foster
appeal
perspectives
detox challenges
community service

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most agree that we should be training children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. However, some believe that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste while others feels schools are more responsible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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