Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children

It is today a norm that

celebrities

nearly cover all means of media fully. Some

people

oppose

this

prevalence of famous

people

for fear of detrimental impacts on the young generation. I,

however

, totally support

this

tendency for the benefits of children’s development and future preparation.

First

and foremost,

celebrities

play an essential role in children’s physical and mental growth. For the former, it is obvious that the prevalence of idols has inspired an increasingly tremendous number of youngsters to deter their sedentary lifestyle, which is a contemporary matter of concern. To exemplify, the Kpop dance cover trend has encouraged millions of teenagers to follow and dance as a type of exercise, rather than spending all their time in front of

Correct article usage

the TV

show examples

or laptop for entertainment. For the latter, the influencers can

also

nurture children’s sense of love and sharing, by motivating them to take part in society-building activities. In Vietnam,

such

celebrities

as Ha Anh Tuan, Thuy Tien or Hoai Linh have made a considerable influence on youngsters’ doing charity or other voluntary works to support the community's development.

Second

but of no less importance, famous

people

can be exemplary in students’ preparation for the future.

However

lucky they are,

celebrities

are always required to make extraordinary efforts to succeed in the competitive market of showbiz. Blackpink, the most popular Kpop group nowadays, with more than twelve hours of daily practice is an evident example. Thanks to them, the message of incessant striving for

Add an article

a dream

the dream

show examples

dream

Fix the agreement mistake

dreams

show examples

is conveyed.

Besides

, whatever industry the renowned

people

are working in, it is compulsory for them to master multiskills, ranging from communication, personal branding to marketing or even languages.

This

makes them a role model for children to be proactive in their self-learning to perfect themselves in disparate areas. In conclusion, I am

firmly

Replace the adverb

firm

show examples

of the opinion that the full coverage of superstars in the media positively influences the children, both in their development and their groundwork for the future. By activating parental and school controls to prevent the excessive idolization of children, I believe those aforementioned benefits will be utilized.

Submitted by tranthuhien20395 on Fri Oct 01 2021

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for instance
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to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

347 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, the number of obese children is increasing rapidly, and many people believe that the government is responsible for this alarming problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause various health problems.

Computers and museums Have made it impossible for Office workers to do much of their work from home Instead of working in office every day. Work from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large outdoor public spaces such as squared and parks. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals.To what extent do you agree or disagree?