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Band 5.5

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decisions
While certain
indivituals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 think that giving young to take their decision on daily affairs is likely to be people who give priority to themselves, others argue that it is essential for them to make personal choices about
thier
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their
 personal life. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both arguments and explain my support for the latter view. On the one hand, there are
preople
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people
 who believe that making children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
select their everyday needs
tent
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tend
show examples
 to be more selfish who only think about themselves because when they are doing their own task they will only learn to do for themselves.
In addition
 to that,
this
 habit will
develope
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develop
 the
self thinking
Add a hyphen
self-thinking
show examples
 and taking care only for themself since
this
 involve taking decision only one person. They do not get any opportunity to share information, food and things of their use.
For example
, a child from
nuclear
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a nuclear
show examples
 family
do
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does
show examples
 not learn how to share, respect and care
elderly
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for elderly
show examples
 people since they have been taught to be
self oriented
Add a hyphen
self-oriented
show examples
.
As a result
,
those adolescence
Change the determiner
that adolescence
those adolescences
show examples
 become more
selfcentric
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self-centric
self centric
 and
thik
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think
 more about
thier
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their
 desire only.
On the other hand
, in my opinion, it is necessary to teach them to manage
thier
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their
 belongings by themselves.
This
 will help them to be independent and more confident to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 personal decisions.
Moreove
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Moreover
,
this
 habit will teach them to think critically
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
mportant
Correct your spelling
important
 caring, nursing,loving
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
someone or something is.
In addition
 to that when growing up managing
ownself
Correct your spelling
oneself
show examples
 force them to understand the value of feeling and emotions.
For instance
, an independent child can take care of dogs since they know that whatever they needed to live, to be happy,
Change the article
the
show examples
same thing applies with these animals or others too. In
conclusinon
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conclusion
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe,
although
 it
deffers
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differs
defers
 from person to person, an independent
adolesence
Correct your spelling
adolescence
 can take proper decision and manage their life wisely as well as
this
 habit
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 a strong caring personality who
also
 can understand the value of others life and emotions.
Submitted by laxmithapa2921 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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