Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in art?

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #technology #business #interest

Art

has been always been an

indispensible

Correct your spelling

indispensable

part

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show examples

every

cultures

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culture

show examples

from all over the world.

However

, in the age of industrialization and modernization,

art

is not considered to be

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apply

show examples

the top priority like it used to be anymore. Nowadays, the number of

people

opt

Correct pronoun usage

who opt

show examples

for

art

is diminishing dramatically, and the majority is going for science, technology and especially business.

This

essay is aimed at discussing

about

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apply

show examples

reasons behind

this

trend, and solutions in detail to

this

Art

plays an important role in every

societies

Fix the agreement mistake

society

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and

cultures

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culture

show examples

through

Change preposition

throughout

show examples

the history of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human being. Since

human

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humans

show examples

walked on their feet, knew to use tools in their daily lives,

art

started to be formed. We can see pictures carved on the walls in stone caves, it was the oldest evidence about the appearance of

art

Nevertheless

people

are now losing their interest

about

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show examples

it in the modern world. One of the biggest reasons is the lack of financial freedom. Even in the past, becoming an

artists

Correct the article-noun agreement

artist

show examples

was never considered to be a good job with

stable

Add an article

a stable

show examples

salary. Gifted artists like Van Gogh, Da Vinci ended up their lives in poorness. Today,

this

situation tends to remain unchanged. Those who pursuing

art

have to struggle to earn a living

however

talented they are.

On the other hand

, the others who choose to apply themselves to science, technology and business seem to have

a much better lives

Correct the article-noun agreement

a much better life

much better lives

show examples

, with competitive salaries as well.

However

, it is causing a huge loss of cultural heritages and steps can be taken to prevent

this

Firstly

, Governments can help in reviving the dying

art

by creating a budget solely for the

Art

This

money can

then

be utilized to open

art

schools, which offer jobs to

art

graduates. To add on, some frequent competitions and exhibitions can attract more

people

and tourists which can generate more income. When

people

see a good amount of money they can freely choose to become an artist. To conclude, Loss of

Art

can be

loss

Correct article usage

the loss

show examples

of some cultural heritage. Most

people

are choosing to go for Science, Businesses and Technology

instead

Art

, due to financial constraints. But enough

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

from, everyone can turn

people

towards the arts.

Submitted by minhneuforworks on Fri Oct 01 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

368 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in art?

Fully explain your ideas

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Overpopulation is a big problem what are the causes? And how to resolve it?

Some people argue that technological advancements , such as smartphones and the Internet, have had a negative impact on social interactions and human relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?