Some people believe schoolchildren should help to create rules in their schools. Others say teachers alone should decide what the rules are. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, it has been a controversial topic whether
students
should be involved in determining the
school
's regulation, or it should be created by only
teachers
. In
this
essay, I will decipher both
viewpoint
Change to a plural noun
viewpoints
show examples
, which I absolutely support that
children
should be responsible for setting the
school
's
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
. On the one hand, the reason why
Add an article
a teacher
the teacher
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
should solely decide the legislation is that they have
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
perspective compared to
children
. and know what are advantages and disadvantages for
children
.
For example
,
children
do not know the adverse consequences of not attending the class, which they just enjoy the day with their friends.
However
,
teachers
have passed
this
moment before, so they know how
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
education is important for future careers.
Therefore
,
teachers
are able to set the rules that will be
Add an article
a benefit
show examples
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
for
students
.
On the other hand
,
although
teachers
have the perspective of adults, which have experienced the study life before, there are some problems that only
students
will know
such
as bully and
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
in schools. From my experience as always being bullied, I cannot tell anyone about
this
even
teachers
or parents so
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
cannot help anything excepting there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a rule for preventing
this
.
Therefore
, if
children
are being involved in making the
school
's
regislation
Correct your spelling
legislation
,
these problem
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
will be solved directly. In conclusion, in
attempt
Correct article usage
an attempt
show examples
to properly managing
school
, which
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable
show examples
for everyone,
students
have to be a part of setting
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
because they know the exact problems
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
in schools that some troubles are not known by adults.
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: