More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

#people #drinks #drink

Nowadays, More and more

people

are drinking sugar-based

drinks

such

as coke, soda, soft

drinks

, energy

drinks

. Especially Teenagers and young adults

Add the comma(s)

, in particular,

show examples

in particular

tend to consume these sugar-based

drinks

on a daily demand basis.

This

essay will illustrate the reasons for

this

phenomenon and offer some feasible solutions to reduce energy

drinks

consumption. There are various reasons Why sugar-based

drinks

consumption has risen dramatically in recent years. One possible explanation is that Most modern jobs are required require us to spend great concentration and effort to be more and more productive but working or learning for a long period.

As a result

, we were become tired and lost lose concentration on working.

Therefore

People

drink sugar-based

drinks

to boost energy for the body and enhance their focus on working. Another reason worth mentioning is that these

drinks

allows

Change the verb form

allow

show examples

us to stay awake to work so and,

as a result

, these sugar-based

drinks

are beneficial to us.

However

some pestiferous substances in sugar-based

drinks

such

as caffeine, aspartame can lead have led to the fact that more

people

are suffering from obesity disease than in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

over the few recent years ago.

Although

reducing sugar-based

drinks

consumption is a difficult task. But , there are many solutions to encourages

people

to stop drinking those

drinks

regularly. The

first

possible solution is that the government should raise sales tax on those

drinks

This

can result in an increase in their prices, thereby discouraging several

people

from consuming them. The

second

approach is that we can provide with the opportunity to be

people

's awareness of all adverse impacts on health from drinking it should be raised by organizing campaigns to encourage

people

to follow a healthy diet and refrain from drinking sugar-based

drinks

. In conclusion, the essay indicates many reasons to explain Why sugar-based

drinks

have been consumed by many

people

, .

Change the punctuation

show examples

Despite these causes, increasing sales tax on sugar-based

drinks

and running healthy diet campaigns to raise consumer awareness of their health are two feasible solutions that mitigate the problem.

Submitted by ngochai4354 on Fri Oct 01 2021

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up-to-date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

If an individual acts in an anti-social way, such as committing a crime, who is to be blamed: society or the individual. What causes begin such behaviour? Who should be responsible for this?

Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack interpersonal skills needed for communicaion with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solution can help address this problem?

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?