Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many people believe that

music

is a good example of how to bring people from different cultures around the world with-together no matter how old are they.

This

essay totally agrees with

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

statement that

music

can joy the world.

Music

is a universal language. We can enjoy the beat without understanding the meaning. The joyful rhythm brings us all together, the lyric which written in a different language is not a problem anymore. Recently, there is a k-pop movement in the western

worlds

Fix the agreement mistake

world

show examples

such

as Europe and the USA.

For example

, the most famous Korean boy band is called "BTS" representative from the UN. They released a new song called "permission to dance" to encourage the young generation from losing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

happiness in daily life during the COVID-19 era. The creation of a

music

beat is easy, you do not need an expensive instrument for making new friends. You already have your own hands to start a simple beat. Every kind of

music

has its own character, your favourite ones could be emotional classical or EDM dance or even both.

For Instance

, many street performers who perform interesting

music

on the way home could brighten up our day during the weekend while we spending valuable time with friends and family.

Also

In conclusion,

music

is the simplest way to communicate between different cultures without speaking. Not only the UN that use cheerful

music

to convey a certain message to world citizen.

Moreover

Music

could raise the level of happiness in life and make a greater change in social happened.

Submitted by tanat30635.ts on Fri Oct 01 2021

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Your opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that it is necessary to travel to learn about other countries. Others feel same can be learnt through TV and internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, children watch a lot of tv and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?