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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write about the advantages and disadvantages of zoos

#zoos
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While
zoos
 may be a paradise for
animals
 with prepared meals and preferable weather conditions, they,
in contrast
,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
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 a prison for wildlife, lacking freedom and nature. Along with the process of urbanization,
zoos
 appear in significant numbers in and out of metropolises.
This
 essay will describe
zoos
 as
a preservation sites
Correct the article-noun agreement
a preservation site
preservation sites
show examples
 and as
a confined boxes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a confined box
confined boxes
show examples
.
First
 and foremost,
zoos
 may be used as a home to endangered
species
. A
species
 earns the title of “endangered” when hunted to extinction and life-threatening levels by human beings. Only a few of their kind will exist on
this
 planet, susceptible to even their natural predators.
That is
 why
zoos
 act as a shelter for these
animals
. There they are fed, taken care of, and protected round-the-clock. Accommodation will be provided for them until their fertility rate has stabilized and they are self-sustainable enough to return to their natural habitats.
On the other hand
,
zoos
 are often viewed as unnatural habitats for
animals
 to live in. Imagine being caged, locked away from the outside world, and living in a closed, unfamiliar, and unsanitary place for the rest of your life and generations to come. These boxes prevent natural growth in
animals
 since they cannot provide the same environment where they live. These
species
 will slowly become inactive and attached to a manmade environment, so much so that they will either die alone in their prison or be unable to assimilate into their natural habitat again. In short,
zoos
 should only be used with the sole purpose of aiding in protecting and preserving endangered
species
. They should not be used as mere destinations for human entertainment.
Instead
 of expanding
zoos
, we should focus on rebuilding the habitats people took away from them and illegalizing overhunting.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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