IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what conseguences can it lead?

#immigration #impact #society #conseguences
At currently, some
people
's demand is to migrate from their birthplace to explore the
marvelous
Change the spelling
marvellous
show examples
 world. There are numerous motivations
such
 as erudite educations, high remuneration careers, and magnificent
life
.
In contrast
, immigration leads their country
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
long term issue, underdevelopment. In several countries, popularity in evacuation increases over 125 percentage,comparing to the
last
 decade, due to the fact that Generation Y and Z believe that they would offer more opportunities in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of education. Famous colleges
such
 as Ivy
league
Change the capitalization
League
show examples
 schools
also
 accept foreign students and bestow scholarships.
Consequently
, many students desire to attend university
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
 because they meditate
what
Change preposition
on what
show examples
 they would receive in the future.
Moreover
, after graduated from
international
Add an article
the international
show examples
 academy, they will not only obtain
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 superior diploma but
also
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 opportunity
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
. Hired by large cooperations, these
people
 will acquire high wages.
For instance
 in America,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 country which consists of
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
ethnics
Replace the word
ethnicities
show examples
, the income is quite high and adequate for expenses, so
that is
 why America has the highest demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 immigration.
Subsequently
, they will have better quality of
life
,
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
 and assets, and family. Interestingly, many families emigrating to civilize
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 due to the better
life
 and welfare. While the amount of brilliant new generations going aboard enlarge,
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 will face with
issue
Add an article
the issue
an issue
show examples
 - underdevelopment - If the proportion between underdeveloped
people
 is larger than intelligent
people
,
people
's attitude will
hard
Add a missing verb
be hard
show examples
 to develop.
Additionally
, the regulations will be worthless because
people
 do not realize the importance
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 to live in society.
Hence
, it leads
underdevelopment
Change preposition
to underdevelopment
show examples
. To summarize, jobs, education and quality of
life
 are the major factors why
people
 immigrate.
In contrast
, society
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 affection because it loose population with capability, so it faces
downturn
Add an article
a downturn
show examples
.
Submitted by buildtobuilt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: