Some people who are been in person become good citizens later, and it is of often agreed that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangerous of committing a crime. Extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, most people are ending their lives or committing suicide or crime because of depression. I strongly agree having conversations or advice with adults can ease their loneliness.
First
of all, being a teenager is one of the most exciting ages of a person. Just having fun, make a lot of friends and building up yourself. Their parents are the one's who must help them if they are experiencing problems or challenges as they grow up because these days a lot of young people are into social media or movies that involves harassment or violence.
For example
, the one that I've watched recently on Netflix is entitled Don't fuck with the cats. The man in the series making videos by loving the cat
first
and
then
ending up torturing and killing them. With
this
, as time pass by he murdered an Asian gay that he met on social media.
On the other hand
, some of the teenagers who live alone in their entire life can be more independent and think more about their actions.
For instance
, my friend has been living alone for almost 20 years because both of his parents died because of a car accident. He realized that it is okay to cry and be lonely but don't do it as a habit. As what his parent told him. Whatever
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
happens
Add the particle
tohappens
show examples
be good and do good in your life. To conclude, it depends on how their loved ones grow them to be more cautious of their surroundings. Living alone or be with someone you can lean on is okay as long as you know how to manage yourself and think twice about everything that might happen in the future.
Submitted by RoseOrlaes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: