One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think that advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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The development of medical care brings various
of
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apply

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benefits to humans. Since
this
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improvement
occured
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occurred
occurs

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, people are living and expect to live longer. It is clear that there are more pros than cons which will describe more in
this
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essay. Due to the development,
the
Correct article usage
apply

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medical treatment has been more approachable.
For instance
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, the medical
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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are getting smaller, so it can be delivered easily to rural areas.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

benefit helps expand the equality to get basic medical treatments for the citizen. Another result of medical improvement is that people get
less
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fewer

It appears that the quantifier less does not fit with the countable noun diseases. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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diseases and live
longer
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a longer

The noun phrase longer life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life
Replace the word
lives

The word life doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Consequently
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, people are more likely to be happier than
the
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in the

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past because they are able to live with their beloved family and spend time together longer.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

expansion leads to
success
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the success

The noun phrase success seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

goals' achievement.
For example
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, one has his
inachieved
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unachieved
achieved

The word inachieved is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

goals because he dedicated his time
for
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to

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works.
Hence
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, he can use the time after
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retirement
entirement
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the entirement

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to achieve it.
In contrast
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, financial planning is needed to plan when you expect to survive longer
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Since you are getting older, your body
are
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is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject your body. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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less fit compare to
younger
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the younger
a younger

The noun phrase younger one seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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one. So, preparing for the facilities that suit
for
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apply

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your health condition is essential which cost a lot.
Also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is essential to save one big amount of money in case there are any accident events happen. In conclusion, it is clear that the improvement of medical treatment could bring more advantages to everyone
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

than disadvantages.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, having longer
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to carefully plan especially for finance.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
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