One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think that advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

The development of medical care brings various

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apply

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benefits to humans. Since

this

improvement

occured

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occurred

occurs

, people are living and expect to live longer. It is clear that there are more pros than cons which will describe more in

this

essay. Due to the development,

the

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apply

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medical treatment has been more approachable.

For instance

, the medical

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

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are getting smaller, so it can be delivered easily to rural areas.

This

benefit helps expand the equality to get basic medical treatments for the citizen. Another result of medical improvement is that people get

less

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fewer

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diseases and live

longer

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a longer

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life

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lives

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Consequently

, people are more likely to be happier than

the

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in the

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past because they are able to live with their beloved family and spend time together longer.

Moreover

life

expansion leads to

success

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the success

show examples

life

goals' achievement.

For example

, one has his

inachieved

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unachieved

achieved

life

goals because he dedicated his time

for

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works.

Hence

, he can use the time after

Correct your spelling

retirement

entirement

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the entirement

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to achieve it.

In contrast

, financial planning is needed to plan when you expect to survive longer

life

. Since you are getting older, your body

are

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less fit compare to

younger

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the younger

a younger

show examples

one. So, preparing for the facilities that suit

for

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apply

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your health condition is essential which cost a lot.

Also

, it is essential to save one big amount of money in case there are any accident events happen. In conclusion, it is clear that the improvement of medical treatment could bring more advantages to everyone

life

than disadvantages.

However

, having longer

life

have to carefully plan especially for finance.

Submitted by faiphad.i on Sun Oct 03 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think that advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Companies should provide sports and social fecilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree?

A lot of money is spent on repairing old building. Instead of repairing old building that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?