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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Do you agree or disagree with the statement above? Give advantages and disadvantages of the TV. Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#television #communication #friends #tv
Communication can occur between two or more
people
. In my
perspect
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I
am not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
 that
television
is destroy
Change the verb form
destroys
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conversation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
groups of
people
 but
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is.
Television
 is suitable for older age
people
 more than
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 age or teenagers. At the present,
televisions
 are rarely used but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have in every
houses
Change to a singular noun
house
show examples
.
Televisions
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 in the way
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 watching
a movies
Correct the article-noun agreement
movies
a movie
show examples
 or listening news so that not demolish any speech. From my point of view,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
such
 as online social that
people
 nowadays play
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more disrupt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication. That human call a down-to-earth society, citizens can
serching
Correct your spelling
searching
 everything on their phone
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 not even in meal or working time. In my opinion, when everyone came back home after their responsibility and having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
dinner together along with watching
television
 while eating. That can make a lot of conversation in our family or peers.
This
 is the time for us to talk and ask questions in dairy life.
On the other hand
,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
television
 is
unneccessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
such
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
normal
television
 not
a smart
Correct the article-noun agreement
smart television
show examples
televisions
 due to it just changes the channel. Cannot do anything else unlike smart
televisions
 that can play the Internet in themselves. According to
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
,
television
 at my home
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is only set not being used at all. My mother searching on his telephone and computer
also
 me too. As you know at the present, technology has been developed continuously, so on computers or telephones or tablets have everything you want to know including being able to see what is projected on the
television
 as well.
Therefore
,
television
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not destroy conversation in family or helpmate anymore. It
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 electric thing that
sholud
Correct your spelling
should
 have in every
houses
Change to a singular noun
house
show examples
 sometimes, the use of it is not very frequent.
Submitted by plsmckc on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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