IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#governments #progress #people #country
Currently, there are different points of view about which type of advancement is more essential.
Although
 states consider that economy is more important, there are those who believe that progress concerning other fields is worth attention equally. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both opinions and provide my own view on
this
 subject.
To begin
 with, the governments argue that the economy plays a significant role in the countries' development and concerns many aspects of people's lives.
In other words
, the improvement in the economical area may lead to positive consequences,
such
 as an increase in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of facilities and providing more workplaces.
For example
, if the states have enough money, they will probably be able to set up many buildings,
such
 as sports centres, malls, galleries, restaurants and so on.
Besides
, the construction of many organizations
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that there are many positions that will become available.
On the other hand
, some people think that advance should be
also
 in other areas.
Firstly
, it can concern education, which has an impact on society and its development. It is often considered that literacy contributes to a more capable and effective nation.
For instance
, in my homeland, the government provided citizens with an opportunity to be well-educated.
As a result
, a lot of them brought benefits in different fields, beginning with science, and ending with trade.
Secondly
, technological progress can
also
 have many advantages. As an example, the Internet is one of the inventions that completely changed society. People can find almost any information they need and become more educationally gifted.
Moreover
, doctors can create more efficient medicines thanks to particular gadgets. In conclusion,
although
 the positive sides that economic progress has, I think that there are other improvements, which should be done
also
.
Submitted by mar16.f on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: